Break-up :(

Hello,

I have been reading numerous articles/posts online, but I cannot find anything that seems to match my predicament, so decided I would post my issue on here in the vain hope that somebody will be able to offer advice.

I am a 23 year old male and have been with my boyfriend for 5 years. Nearly 6 months ago now, I decided I wanted to break up with him as I felt there was a lack of intimacy/sex. The sex dwindled to nothing, about 1-2 years into the relationship, when we started to live with each other. For the past few months we’ve been trying to see if we can get things going again, but it’s not moving anywhere, due to me not wanting to be intimate.

I have always tried to think what stopped me from wanting closeness. I am only 23, and should want to have sex with him, but I don’t. I do, however, have a high sex drive and have the desire to have sex with others. I will note that both have us have always been faithful. When I see him I think he is stunning, but for some reason I just have no desire to be close, other than a hug.

There have been times where he has mistreated me during the relationship, as I am sure I did to him too. I have always felt second-rate in the relationship. He has been physically abusive to me numerous times, but not recently. I struggle to forget this, and seem to think it might have made me subconsciously not like him. I do think we get on very well when not arguing, and do have the same morals and goals in life.

I just now don’t know what to do. Is a lack of sexual desire enough to leave a relationship? I don’t ever foresee myself wanting to have sex with him, and need to make the decision on whether this is something I should leave a relationship for. Perhaps it’s more than the sex and I am just fooling myself into staying when I am not happy? Whatever it is, I need to make a decision as it’s pushed me to depression.

Thank you for your time,

James

Is a lack of sexual desire enough to leave a relationship?

Yes, very much so.

My two cents are this - dont prolong the inevitable if your thinking about it then its probably time