Why do I always chase the bad boy.
Hi there! I'm a 20 year old girl and I have a bit of a problem when it comes down to dating. A couple of months ago me and a guy started hooking up. I really liked him and to me it was more then just sex, we had a great connection and it was always so much fun when we were together. He was one of the first guys I was with whom I could actually be myself around for 100%, and he seemed to like it. I didn't know if I wanted to start a relationship with him cause I did feel that there wasn't actually steaming love between us, it was more like a super close friendship with benefits, but I did realize I was starting to like him more everytime I saw him. Since he wasn't done with his ex yet, he told me he didn't want to be in a relationship with me cause he thought that wasn't right. I was pretty hurt but for some reason we still hung out, mostly because he kept telling me he didn't think he and his ex would work out (she was studying abroad the whole 5 months I was with him, and came back a week before I left to Asia for 2 months) when she would come back and that he didn't know if he liked her more than me. He kept giving me mixed signs but it was clear he didn't like me as much as I liked him. His ex came back and told him she didn't think it would work out anymore, on which he surprisingly reacted pretty hurt. I figured he didn't like her that much anymore, but he told me that when he saw her again old feelings came back and he thought he might be still in love with her. I told him to sort himself out, I also told him I was kind of falling for him but wasn't sure about my feelings either. I kind of wanted him to know I liked him but at the same time I wasn't even sure myself. We said goodbye and I left to Asia. I thought of him a lot while I was out there and realized what I was doing to myself, and I didn't want him to use me as his little **** doll anymore. I wanted everything or nothing, I was done with the game. I thought he'd at least ask me to hook up with him again once I got back so I could ask him if this was all he wanted, cause if it was I didn't think it would be a good idea to hang out with him anymore.
Since I got back he talked to me once through facebook messages, it was a fun conversation and he seemed really interested, but that was almost a week ago. He hasn't made the effort to call me or ask me to hang out, when I saw him last night he seemed happy to see me, but we didn't really have a great conversation as I was nervous and didn't know what to say. He basically just waved and walked off. Do you think I should take the initiative and ask him to hang out? I don't want to look like a desperate loser, but I'm really not the kind of person to wait around. I'd rather just tell him how I feel and see his reaction although it seems pretty obvious to me that this guy is not interested. I'm left with these stupid feelings and can't stop thinking of all the fun stuff we did. The problem is, I don't know if it's just the thrill of the chase or if I am actually in love with him. All my friends say I am, but I'm really good at fooling myself and making myself think I'm in love.
I'm pretty lost, and I've been hurt by these sort of guys in the past. I'm done with these bad boys who are only out to break my heart but for some reason I love chasing them and I love a challenge. And it's not like this guy is some ugly weirdo who I just like because he doesn't want me, there is a huge part of me that likes him for him but I'm also sure there's a part of me that only wants him cause I can't have him. I don't get why "love" works like that? I'm scared I'm always going to put myself in this position and that it's not gonna give me a good boyfriend. Does anyone have advice on how I knock some sense in my head before I make a complete fool of myself?
