Desperately need help on this love triangle!!!!

okay well lets start from day one, this is gonna be long so bear with me........

im 17, i live in perth western australia and im in my final year of highschool and i am currently in a relationship with my girlfriend of 4 months but i should never of have asked her out because im still in love with my ex! uh-ohh!!! i know right!! well it's not entirely my fault. I tried so hard to get over her and i thought i was when i asked my current girlfriend out but things have happened between me n my ex that make it that much harder for me to get over her.

my ex, lets call her stacey, is the only girl ive fallen in love with, every other girl ive just liked.....well when we were dating it was an alright relationship but she had never had a boyfriend before so i knew that taking it slow would be best and i didnt mind either because i loved stacey. but unfortunately after about a month or two she had to break up with me because stacey and her mom had a fight and stacey's mom said that she wasn't allowed to date any guys. i was sooo heartbroken and told her it's okay i understand but inside i felt like shit....everyday from then on i couldnt stop thinking about her and how it could of been if we were still dating. but stacey is a nice girl, she isnt like the other girls at school her age. stacey is innocent and pure and shes just everything a guy could need and want in a girl. Well we decided to stay friends because we were friends first anyways so it shouldnt change us....so i said okay and began the long process of trying to get over her hahahaa well it didnt work.

as the months passed by we became closer and closer as friends, but not best friends...yet. i eventually asked her if she liked me again but she said no only as a friend and i was like okay, fair enough. so that was like about 4-5 months after the break-up and then i started to get over her more and more because i thought that me n her weren't meant to be.

well after about 2 months of this i started to talk to one of her friends who was a friend of mine also and me n her got along really well. we went on a student councillor camp together and thats when i realised that this girl, lets call her mary, might be the girl that i should be dating so i can get over stacey. i should also mention that im a serious long term relationship kinda guy. Well i told stacey that i think i like her friend and she was all good with it and tried hooking me up with her and at the same time stacey was seeing this other guy william and i tried to make them hook up as well.

It was going pretty smoothly and soon enough me and stacey became very close friends. We started to share our secrets with eachother and talked almost everday on facebook/ txt and at school. and then one day i went over to her house during our exam week and waited to go to late night shopping...well i gotta say that that was a very fun night. we became closer friends that night talking about school, life and dreams....and relationships.

by this point in time i was already very distanced from mary because i didnt want to get too close to her incase we broke up and i was left broken like how i was with stacey...so i told stacey how i felt about mary and she concluded that i didnt like mary that much anymore and truth was i didnt....i don't know why but i knew that me and mary had nothing, i dunno what mary thought but i know what i was feeling....well stacey's parents gave me a lift back home and me n stacey were talking when her mum just out of no where said "Yous'e two are just perfect for each other! You're like...really connected! Stacey doesn't unsually act like this around her friends, she's so relaxed and in her element. with everone she's a different person but when she's around youshe's so happy and herself!" i was like WOAH! okay! hahahaa cool! stacey just said "oh, well there you go! do u feel special?" i didnt know what to say to that so i was just like "yeah. i do hahahaa"

so after we declared our bestest best friend status to eachother that's when all my feelings for her came rushing back hahahaa we hung out alot and talked all the time about anything and everything. We loved eachother and said that to eachother everyday, everynight! we NEEDED eachother!

at the same time this was happenning i was getting further and further away from mary...i didn't hang with her at lunch. I rather'd to go out with stacey than mary. Me n Stacey went to lunch n dinner more and more often with eachother and went over to eachothers house alot. Then people became suspicious and started to ask questions about us. I found out and i didn't know what to do. Because i WANTED to break up with mary and get back with stacey sooo badd!! but i knew how that would look at school...people talking and rumours you know how it is at high school! so i told stacey what people were thinking and told her we need to cut down on the contact time, because if mary ever found out that we were hanging out with eachother this often then it wouldn't look really bad! and she began to cry and thought that i was breaking up our friendship but i told her NO! we just have to take a little break. Her tears were just too hard for me to turn away from and i told her that it's okay we don't have to stop being friends we'll find out another way to deal with this okay because i don't know what i would do without you. She told me how much she enjoys being my bestest best mate and how she really loves how close we are. It was a beautiful moment. So we agreed on a pact that stacey's siste suggested.....if by the time we turn 35 and we are both single and unmarried then we would marry eachother!!! i was SO JOYOUS that she saw me that way! no-other girl has before and that's really special to me and she is the only girl i think i could ever love truly......

i know this is getting long but hey, i wanna make sure i explain everything to youse hahahaa

so about a month passed and here i am today....about 4 days ago i concluded thaat i was finally over stacey! that ive gotten over her, not completely but that i was over the fact that she could never be my girlfriend and that we are only supposed to be friends....two days ago i told stacey one of my deepest darkest secrets that i tried so hard to forget but i needed to tell someone or else i don't think i would ever of have forgotten it.....its pretty dark so i dont wanna share it on here.....and coz i promised to myself that the only person i would share this with would b someone whom i really love and would give everything up for. someone who would be with me when i die and afterwards too. And that person happened to be stacey. So i told her over facebook coz it was too hard for me to say it face to face. well before i told her i asked her "who cant you get out of our head?" coz her status was "can't get you outta my head!" i thought it was sum guy that she saw sumwhere or a band or sum1 i dunno but i was hoping that it was me lol well she didnt wanna tell me n so i sed thats okay you know ill be here when you want to...she kept saying that i would judge her if i told her so i replied with "judging is for judges, and im a contestant in this competition!" coz im awesome and funny like that lol jks jks hahahaa but yeah i told her that its about time i shared one of my secrets with her....so i told it and told her to forget it coz i don't wanna think about it again and she did and we moved on! okay, woah! hahahahaa well anyways she finally decided that she will tell me who was in her head and man it was hard for her! she kept telling me that she wanted to be the best friend she possibly could be and for me to just froget it when i tell her coz she'll probably get over it in a week or sumthing and i already knew she was gonna say me.....it was obvious! she wouldnt take this long to answer a question like that! and i was getting all sorts of feelings at the same time...it was weird azz!!! i WANTED it to be me so that i would finally know that what i felt was mutual but at the same i didnt coz it would finally be the ending i needed to get over stacey.....well this is what she replied with

"it kills me to see you with (mary) i dont know why but when ever you two are together i feel like i have to go in the opposite direction i dont know what else to say ive kept it for so long im sorry
ok please forget that im so stupid i shouldnt have told you that"

i didnt know what to feel or how i was feeling! i was outta my head! do i tell her how i felt too or do i tell her that its okay, i understand thankyou and be all sympathetic n shit! well i told her the truth about how i felt and man it was a long response.....im not gonna paste it on here coz its basically everything that i just told you guys hahhaaaha but she replied with:


"you know all those stories about aaron and other guys its to make me think that im over you and so it didnt hurt as much when i saw you and (mary) together i tried to make myself believe that i was falling for other guys.
i love that we are so close and that i have you to tell everything to because i honestly dont know who i would tell all my secrets to."

i replied with:
"and the same goes with me....i love spending time with you more than anyone else....that night we went to dome and had dinner was probably the best night ive had out after the school ball that is lol but honestly i dunno what it is that brings us together all the time but it really is something.....i dunno if i will EVER get over you but i will ALWAYS love you.......and i MEAN that!"

and she said:
"i feel the same way i mean i havent laughed like that in a long time haha.
well 35 and then we can get married remember but in all seriousness im sure i will never get over you because you make me feel like me and i honestly love you with all my heart "

well thats that story..........and now the pickle is....do i break up with mary so i can be with stacey or do i continue to be with mary? i don't want to hurt mary because she is a wonderful girl and i enjoy being with her also but me and stacey are much closer and i don't feel real when im with mary...i feel like i have to work hard to fit in with her. with stacey i feel normal and she lets me be me! and i love her for that...i CAN see me and stacey getting married when we are 35 maybe younger i dunno hahahaa but it CAN happen! but im afraid that if i break up with mary and get back with stacey it will be weird or it won't work out.....im afraid that maybe we only love eachother because we can't have eachother! and it hurts! and then i ll feel like an idiot for letting a beautiful caring funny talented girl like mary slip away because i was too attached to the past and to what i couldn't have. Ill feel stupid because maybe mary was the girl im SUPPOSED to be with and maybe mary IS the one for me....but i don't feel that way about her....and it's all my fault because i didn't let myself grow closer to mary in case i get hurt again like how stacey hurt me..........well thats it and i just need some advice. obviously you can tell that ive done alot of thinking already but i want some outside opinions...maybe if you've been in a similar situation and what you did about it. i dunno hahahaa just anything to help me out....thanks :D