Advice about trying to get ex back

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28-08-11, 11:09 PM
freddy12

Advice about trying to get ex back

Ill start by saying i was on another forum but it was mainly full of guys who simply told me to man the f*** up and get over her and i am slowly feeling better about myself and it doesnt hurt as much but it would be nice if i could have the girl i fell in love with again. I wouldnt say im desperate for her but it would be nice to have her back.

To cut a long storey short (long storey can be provided :D ), my ex is 19 and im 22, she is my first love and my first proper relantionship (we were eachother first when it came to making love as well). We were going out for about 10 months but by the 7/8 months things seemed to be slowing down by not talking as much or me having to start converations and only really seeing each other for about 2 hours a week when she was seeing her freinds for entire days. The problem i was getting parniod, clingy and needy and i know i was an idoit for it and i regret it so much but theres little i can do to change the past now. Anyway we had a couple of breaks which didnt really do a lot so she decided to end it about 5 weeks ago now (seems like months and months).

The last time i actual saw her and spoke to her was a week aftetr the break when i told her that i know i had to accept her descision and there would always be a place in my heart for her and she know where to find me IF she had second thoughts and then she just walked away and later on facebook liking a page entilted "pretending to care but really wanting to cry".

Anyway she then left to go on holiday about a week after that and then i left to go on holiday when she was coming back but when i got back i sent her a message saying that i understand if she didnt reply and i hope shes okay and that she has been on my mind a lot and wondered if she wanted to go for a drink some time and hopefully talk soon and then just a take care and a x at the end. But i never got a reply but hours later she ended up going to a pub with a freind, which isnt really like her as she was walking the next day, that was a week ago. Then the next day or something she posted something on facebook and it seemed to be joking about what i said so i blocked her but decided to unblock her so we had simply werent freinds anymore, i dont know if she even realises it.

Also we work at the place, luckly in different depts so we would only really see each other if i pasted by her dept, which i have to to at times. Our first day working the same day was last tuesday and we never bumped into each other but she would of saw me passing and i saw her when she was on the phone at the end of the day when her bit was closed but for some reason she made the call inside where she would know i would see her, she also didnt seem happy.

Well today (28th in uk) would of been our 1 year anniverasy as i was going to message her on fb just askign how she was and how things were but decided not to as it might of been a bit weired and im sure she hasnt forgot that it would of been.

Now in terms of me, im doing a lot more than i was before (i was doign nothing but hoping to see her when i wasnt working, which was stupid) but now im going to gym and i feel like its helped so much and my self-estem and respect has got higher (which i think was the problem before) and im changed a lot of little things like what im eating and not worrying about little things like how much water i drink (i had to have 8 pints a day at least, a little ocd i know, but i do suffer it on other things) and other little things like actual doing my hair in the mornings, bacily putting more effort into my life, i feel like ive changed, i dont know if ive fully changed but willnt now until im back with someone.

I just dont know what to do, my heads all over the place, better than it was but still all over the place. Im not sure if i should continuing the no contact, which im guessing what shes doing or if i would message her on facebook sayign either how i feel and how ive changed or just how she is, or drag her to one side at work and tell her that i miss her.

The things we spoke about and the way she acted around me make be sure she really did like me but im not sure if its too late now. Also some of the pages she liking at the moment like "being really excited about something and then it going wrong" would suggest she did like me.

Any help would be great,
cheers Freddy12
28-08-11, 11:56 PM
freddy12

Sort of messaged her on FB just saying;

"Hey ****,
How are you? How are things? :)
**** "

Ooops
29-08-11, 06:22 AM
Horseyguy

Man the **** up and get over her :)
29-08-11, 06:39 AM
Vanessa

I doubt anyone here will give you advice on getting her back. Try again when you've accepted that's not happening and need advice on moving on.
29-08-11, 07:41 AM
inexistent_love

if you love her, don't let anyone including her tell you to say otherwise.The ones who say to move on, speak about a different love that is easy to find and forget thereafter, they talk about physical love. The way you spoke of yours tells me it's similar to mine, it's different love but in the opposite yet rare direction. You want to get her back, you will, simply by remaining true to yourself and someday certainly she is going to realize how great your love and how great you in turn as a person for being capable to feel it, it will happen when she sees true love is almost inexistent however you have made it existent for her. Women unfortunately take toooooooo long to believe and understand, by the end, your never changing emotion together with constantly changing others give them no other choice but get it. You can't forget her, well, you won't!
29-08-11, 07:58 AM
Horseyguy

Quote:

Originally Posted by inexistent_love [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

if you love her, don't let anyone including her tell you to say otherwise.The ones who say to move on, speak about a different love that is easy to find and forget thereafter, they talk about physical love. The way you spoke of yours tells me it's similar to mine, it's different love but in the opposite yet rare direction. You want to get her back, you will, simply by remaining true to yourself and someday certainly she is going to realize how great your love and how great you in turn as a person for being capable to feel it, it will happen when she sees true love is almost inexistent however you have made it existent for her. Women unfortunately take toooooooo long to believe and understand, by the end, your never changing emotion together with constantly changing others give them no other choice but get it. You can't forget her, well, you won't!

What on earth are you on?

They dated for 10 months and it started to fall apart at 7 months.

It ended and she has made no effort to reconcile and has moved on.

Why give the guy false hope when right now the best thing he can do is just accept ut and move on. If she was interested in sorting it out she would be responding to his many attempts to get her attention and she isn't.

Last things she needs is some clingy ex who would let go. Give the girl a break
29-08-11, 01:48 PM
Sank242526

Its difficult to understand girls and the stands they take. there is no way in the world she will get back to you if you back out or end up crying in the night for her The only way to get her back is make her realize that you can have girls better than her you are happier than ever and its not she who ended it but you.
flirt with the all girls you can and just get her out your head this will really work and if it does you will end up getting another girl so its going to be a win win situation
start by giving her everything that she may have given you and do that by showing that you dont need her
30-08-11, 10:29 PM
moosegal

Quote:

Originally Posted by inexistent_love [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

if you love her, don't let anyone including her tell you to say otherwise.The ones who say to move on, speak about a different love that is easy to find and forget thereafter, they talk about physical love. The way you spoke of yours tells me it's similar to mine, it's different love but in the opposite yet rare direction. You want to get her back, you will, simply by remaining true to yourself and someday certainly she is going to realize how great your love and how great you in turn as a person for being capable to feel it, it will happen when she sees true love is almost inexistent however you have made it existent for her. Women unfortunately take toooooooo long to believe and understand, by the end, your never changing emotion together with constantly changing others give them no other choice but get it. You can't forget her, well, you won't!

Hmm, that advice would only put you in stalker mode.

You work together ... maybe after time passes you could both become great friends. You said you were clingy and needy ... time to work on yourself so you can have a healthy relationship later on with someone else. My advice .. just walk away.