Urgent advise for a hot girl needed

Printable View

02-09-11, 03:31 PM
whateverworks

Urgent advise for a hot girl needed

Hey guys! I need your help :) so I am extremely attractive...to the point I am intimidating to guys who usually wont approach me in person....I get the word gorgeous a lot..Im fairly self aware and confident. But I wasn't always... hence I would always settle for less than handsome guys...Since i am newly single and own my own company (not much time to meet people) I joined a dating site which I get a ton of emails from daily..have met a lot of attractive/successful men who all ask me for second dates and seem very interested in me but I am becoming extremely picky. Recently I was messaged by THE most gorgeous guy who on paper seems AMAZING..He is litterally a Greek god I am soooo attracted to him (finally a challenge! since the rest seem to fall to my feet...) so he added me to FB..we exchanged numbers...we chat all the time usually on FB but he text me a few times a while ago....He asked me out on a date twice and I was thrilled...BUT stupid me decided to play hard to get seeing as I am SOOOOO interested in him...( BTW he has tons of very pretty girls constantly commenting on his FB photos and Posts) I kept thinking RED FLAG/PLAYER...Warning! but we chat a lot and he seems real and down to earth...according to him he got out of a 4.5 year relationship about a year ago..and is now looking for a relationship (or so he says ....still skeptical) So we chat every single day and he is always the one who initiates the conversation on FB...but we have never talked on thephone ( i even mentioned this to him once that: I would like to see if he has a voice...as an enticing joke to see if he would call) He never called...... He has not asked me out since the first two times and I am dying to go out with him.......another weird aspect is that he deactivated his FB account or so he says ( I thought he had blocked me) after again I tried playing hard to get by blowing him off and decided to be a mean and sort of leave him hanging mid way through a conversation. At which point he "deactivated" his FB account or Blocked me for 10 days.....he re added me and I asked him about it he said he got in to a bar fight and was worried about his friends commenting about it on FB because of his family finding out...I honestly think he blocked me to get a reaction....? Another strange thing about him is that he was constantly talking about penis size and joking about its importance.....I never paid mind to it until it became so apparent that he wanted to make a point he was well endowed...I though he was showing off..but then he told me he was 11' and that it has been a problem in the past and that he is a bit insecure since the women he sleeps with don't really enjoy the sex the first few times......He seems to be truthful about his concern...I just dont know why he doesn't ask me out again (i made it very clear I would like to meet him in person) , why he has never called on the phone and do some men just have these online relationships as a game or distraction to pass the time? Is he really interested in me???? We have been communication Forever it seems ( at least a month) What should I do? I really want to meet him...I even threw out an ultimatum that I no longer wanted to be his chat buddy (in a sort of joking manner).....PLEASE HELP ASAP!!!! I cant get him off my mind ( I am dating a few other men and I make it very apparent on FB posting photos of the flowers I recieve or checking in at the fine dining restaurants where I go to dinner or events I attend with my other dates to sort of stoke the fire and make them all compete) Could this be counter productive???
02-09-11, 04:24 PM
Yet another guy

Quote:

Originally Posted by whateverworks [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

BUT stupid me decided to play hard to get seeing as I am SOOOOO interested in him

Yeah, that was stupid indeed. Just like all the other game playing you mention on your post. Grow up.

Quote:

( BTW he has tons of very pretty girls constantly commenting on his FB photos and Posts) I kept thinking RED FLAG/PLAYER...Warning!

Since when has pretty friends been a red flag?

Quote:

but we have never talked on thephone

If you really want to use the phone, why haven't you called him?
I wouldn't want to use telephone either if there was a more convenient and free option available. Maybe ask if he would like you to use skype or similar?

Quote:

Another strange thing about him is that he was constantly talking about penis size and joking about its importance

That's, er, creepy.

Quote:

I just dont know why he doesn't ask me out again

Since he's such an alpha male, maybe he's expecting to catch a girl who has enough confidence to ask him out instead. Since he has already asked you out twice and you've blown him off, the ball is pretty much on your court now. Why haven't you made a move?
Or maybe deep down, he doesn't have a high confidence after all and doesn't want to get rejected by you again, who knows.

Quote:

( I am dating a few other men and I make it very apparent on FB posting photos of the flowers I recieve or checking in at the fine dining restaurants where I go to dinner or events I attend with my other dates to sort of stoke the fire and make them all compete) Could this be counter productive???

Could it be counter productive? Hilarious :D Nobody wants their love interest dating around with a hundred other people. You aren't giving a very good impression on your facebook. He doesn't want to become yet another date who buys you flowers, takes you to a fine restaurant and gets blown off.

I hope this helps :)
Also, please divide your text to paragraphs.
And what's the point with all the ellipsis'?
02-09-11, 04:54 PM
searock

I agree with Yet Another Guy (especially on the "grow up" thing). I don't even understand why you would go on dates with men you aren't interested in - I am assuming you don't have sex with them at the end of the day right? If you're so interested in this guy, focus on him and don't "play games", that's ridiculous.
02-09-11, 05:42 PM
Andariel

He could be a player or not.You won't know unless you spend time together. FB doesn't count.

However, I totall agree with Yet Another Guy that your behaviour is definitely not helping things. Playing games and dating multiple guys whilst making sure they know about it (!!!) would be off-putting to anyone who has any shred of self-esteem. It is normal for an immature and inexperienced teenager to resort to this type of behaviour but for a woman who is supposed to be mature and is looking for a relationship it is really strange.I know if I was a guy I wouldn't want to go out with a woman who not only sees a bunch of other men at the same time, but is also flaunting her personal life like that on FB as well.
02-09-11, 08:57 PM
Laren

Hate to admit it but I have many girls falling over me -.-, especially girls who "think" they are pretty but if he is anything like me his probably not into women who constantly keeps asking him out because unfortunately he has many other women to choose from.

I also agree with yet another guy but you could be a little nicer to people especially women, there delicate creatures.
02-09-11, 09:21 PM
Superfantastich

How does being a "Hot Girl" change anything?
03-09-11, 12:59 AM
whateverworks

It helps!

Honestly I was married since 18....never really experienced dating (am 25 now) so I never really knew what was acceptable or not....no I dont sleep with people I am just dating but Im not leading them on..I do like the ones I have been on second dates with and It could in my mind turn into something more....Like I said I have never met this guy in real life so I hypothetically like him. Thanks I promise to grow up ;)
03-09-11, 01:02 AM
whateverworks

I thought It would get more replies.....plus if I was hideous would you honestly expect him to want to date me???
03-09-11, 01:06 AM
whateverworks

No I dont sleep around....and I only go on dates with guys I am interested in. Very rarely second or third dates unless I like the guy and see future potential. How can I focus on someone I have not met? how do I assume hes even real! so to speak...JK But we have not met so I really like him on "paper" who knows if their is chemistry in person.
03-09-11, 01:13 AM
searock

Ok, question: are you looking for a relationship, or do you want to continue dating several men?
03-09-11, 02:42 AM
whateverworks

Quote:

Originally Posted by searock [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Ok, question: are you looking for a relationship, or do you want to continue dating several men?

I want a relationship....BTW I took "another guy" advise and asked him out. That was a bad idea. He said he was a gentelman and that he would ask me out himself.....LOL I feel like at this point it is a lost cause :/ I put myself out there...he also said this would be his first online dating experience (my second) and that he wanted to take his time...Time for what? who knows.
03-09-11, 06:50 AM
searock

If you want a relationship I don't think the best thing to do is to go out with several men during the same period of time. Stick to one at a time and if you don't like the one you're dating, stop seeing him entirely and then, eventually, try going out with someone else. Or at least don't put photos on facebook about your different dates altogether, as if it was something to show off... I don't think that gives a good impression on a potential life-partner..!

Anyway yeah it does seem like a lost cause, I suggest you stop talking to him entirely, he sounds like he's just playing with you, making you chase him. Don't bother with him and stick to the ones (hopefully the one) you liked from previous dates.
03-09-11, 08:30 AM
Yet another guy

Quote:

Originally Posted by whateverworks [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

How can I focus on someone I have not met?

Silly question. You go out on a date with him, duh.

Quote:

Originally Posted by whateverworks [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I want a relationship....BTW I took "another guy" advise and asked him out. That was a bad idea. He said he was a gentelman and that he would ask me out himself.....LOL I feel like at this point it is a lost cause :/

How was it a bad idea? Before you asked, you had no idea if he's ever going to ask you out again. Now you know that he is going to... after he's ready. You decide if he's worth the wait. Honestly, I don't understand why you are so attracted to him.
03-09-11, 08:59 AM
sadie_genie

You haven't even met him yet or have dated him so I think you are getting ahead of yourself. The person playing the most games is the one who cares more; so technically you are losing.

Also, don't you think you are limiting yourself by being too focused on shallow qualities (or qualities that looks good on paper, as you call it)? Not saying that shallow qualities aren't important since it fuels attraction but at least get to know the person better before getting so hyped up about it.