Becoming friends with ex/childhood friend

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02-09-11, 04:17 PM
apple piieee

Becoming friends with ex/childhood friend

Hi everyone I'm new here.
My story is pretty straight forward. I've broken up with my bf recently. The relationship hadn't really developed too deep on romance level. We've been friends for about nearly 12 years and we didn't even date for over a week before he initiated to break up coz he didn't think the relationship would work out now and he didn't feel ready. But he kept on apologising because he really didn't want to hurt me so he decided to just tell me honestly about his feelings early on.

Of course for the first few days I was upset just like anyone who got dumped and disappeared from his life. But surprisingly I felt more hurt not because he broke up with me but because I thought we could no longer be friends. (according to so many people who said that you can't be friends with your ex and you have to go NC). When we saw each other again shortly after the breakup it became really awkward because I could see he was guilty. Later on he just pretended to not see me.

Anyway, after a week I decided to just talk it out with him and told him I'm no longer upset (i'm not even joking....I think it hurts more to lose a friend) etc. I told him that I still want to be friends just like we were in the past coz I thought it was silly just to throw away such a great friend over a week of relationship. I'm not sure whether this is right feeling for the person being dumped? I don't resent because the breakup wasn't over argument/ drama etc and I don't harbour any thought about getting back together with him and we became friends on Facebook again. People around me thinks that I'm nuts because I've recovered so quickly.

Is it alright for me to feel that way? Is it ok for me to want to return to our friendship because I feel that it's not worth losing a 10+year friend over a 3 day relationship? I think it's not really a big deal but everyone around me thinks it is. :tough:
02-09-11, 10:33 PM
BackUpOrGetStng

I think you're fine. Like you said, why lose someone whose been a good friend for over a decade? You guys tried it out and it very quickly, didn't work. Who cares. Be friends with who you want.
02-09-11, 10:37 PM
devonbrown

Friendship = 12 years. Dating = 1 week.

Frankly, I am shocked it too you more than 10 minutes to be past the "break-up."

It sounds like you two confused your friendship feeling with romantic feelings. It happens. But then he realized it. And then you realized it. If a 12 year friendship can't withstand that, you would have to re-examine the quality of the friendship.

Good luck.
02-09-11, 10:38 PM
devonbrown

p.s. - tell the "people around you" to shut up. It's your life, not theirs. You are doing just fine. :)
02-09-11, 10:55 PM
apple piieee

Quote:

Originally Posted by devonbrown [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Friendship = 12 years. Dating = 1 week.

Frankly, I am shocked it too you more than 10 minutes to be past the "break-up."

It sounds like you two confused your friendship feeling with romantic feelings. It happens. But then he realized it. And then you realized it. If a 12 year friendship can't withstand that, you would have to re-examine the quality of the friendship.

Good luck.

Hahaha yes I'm shocked at myself as well. The thing is I have liked him for several years which is the very reason I said yes to him in the first place. But I think the thought of never talking to him again freaks me out more than the idea of not being with him in a love relationship. I think our friendship is a bit confusing as you have mentioned...we have this weird atmosphere going on between us but right now, I'm more than glad to resume being friends. I just hope he doesn't find it too weird or guilty when he sees me again.

Thank you to everyone who replied btw XD I feel so much more relieved now that I know I'm normal =D