Losing Everyone

Hey everyone. I have a problem in the relationship aspect of my life that is slowly eroding me away and over the years has pushed me further and further to a point in which I half no self-esteem or willpower.

I am 23 years old, male and a college student. I used to have a very strong group of friends, back in high school, we even stayed together during college. Yet slowly my place in this group and with any group of friends is beginning to fade. My phone doesn't buzz anymore, except from my girlfriend. (No, I have not abandoned them for this girl, I am always trying to convince them that just because I have girlfriend doesn't mean that I am different or that I am old). Yet for some reason it is very rare that any of them get a hold of me. I have even tried making new friends but for some reason I can't, even though I just try my best to be very nice and friendly to anyone I meet. Nobody seems to respond to this. I now feel a shadow creeping over me as the days go buy and a permanent depression is setting in. I used to be confident, I always had a good group of friends, my family used to see me as the cool guy who always was doing something. I make efforts to get a hold of old friends, of family members of people close, they will answer, yet none of them ever just call me.

My little brother has started to become better friends with my friends then I am. He used to be very antisocial and uptight and now he has the ability to meet people and be liked almost right away. His facebook always has people posting on, mine is as blank as a facebook-blue sky on a cloudless day. My girlfriend loves being around me but I swear to god I am not different just because of her I always am ready to hang out w/ friends or answer my phone, i just don't get the invite.

It seemed to happen so drastically that I question if I am dreaming and am in some sort of reality that I can not wake up from. Where did all my friends go where did all the people who cared or looked up to me go? I got into an accident when I was 19, I ended up being lifeflighted and was out cold for 3-4 days. I feel like the same person but often wonder if it changed my personality or something and I can't notice, like I am stuck in a world where I think I act normal but what other people see is different. That is how sudden this happened, that is how crazy it is making me over time. I really really need some advice.

Thank you so much, those who read this post, I know it's long... but understand that any response is very appreciated!

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Originally Posted by theguy [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

It seemed to happen so drastically that I question if I am dreaming and am in some sort of reality that I can not wake up from. Where did all my friends go where did all the people who cared or looked up to me go? I got into an accident when I was 19, I ended up being lifeflighted and was out cold for 3-4 days. I feel like the same person but often wonder if it changed my personality or something and I can't notice, like I am stuck in a world where I think I act normal but what other people see is different. That is how sudden this happened, that is how crazy it is making me over time. I really really need some advice.

Thank you so much, those who read this post, I know it's long... but understand that any response is very appreciated!

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First of all im sorry you got into an accident.

Secondly, I think it may be a major factor. Infact I've had 5 heart surgeries myself and i'm only 21. I had to turn in alot of myself and I got stuck in mixed personalities. I didn't know who and what I was anymore and I still have no clue really.
I'm afraid I can't give you much advice other than that i'm in the same situation as you are.

I had a great group of friends now i'm pretty much solo, I always had girls now I have none. I'm not sure what happened and i'm also sure of it that alot of things are exterior meaning that it isn't in your hands or your fault in how things go.

Im not going to tell you to go visit a therapist but some convo's with your family and persons closest to you would really help and ask if they can see anything different in you. I wish I could take my own advice but I feel that I dont have a bond with anyone not even my family.

Maybe you need some travelling and soul searching, go international.
Good luck let me know how it goes and if you find a solution do share it with me.

Wow thanks for responding, it is nice to know someone else feels the same, even though it gets neither of us anywhere. I wish I had the slightest clue where to find direction in my life. I really hope that it did not alter my personality but maybe it did, I feel like I have been doing soul searching since the accident, so far no luck.

Hey there,

As I was reading your post I noticed how attached you are to other people. Don't get me wrong, friends are great, but they should never be a priority in life. Sometimes your life changes and you need to be in a different place, behave in a certain way and want different things. Whenever you do something major in your life you will lose buddies. That's how it is, most people won't be able to keep up with you and there is nothing you can do about it.

Also, you seem to believe that loneliness is bad. Silence is a bliss. Become friends with it. Breath it, feel it, immerse yourself in it because you will find most of your life lessons in there. People, things, activities are distractions from our souls. We need things, distractions and other people but as men we need that silence first and foremost. Life has no real meaning if you can't live your life without other people.

It may sound strange but you feel alone because you aren't connect with your spirit and your purpose in life. You can't really tell where you life is going because if you did, you would be too busy doing that thing and less concerned about why people are not contacting you anymore. Great men who lived on this earth rarely needed companionship and approval. They loved other people's companionship but they didn't need it. And not because they were loners but because they knew deep down that at the bottom of things other people are distractions to their own purpose in life.

The Universe, God or however you want to call it brought you to this moment for a reason. There is a deep reason to your loneliness. When alone meditate on this one. Think it through and find your true friend - your spirit.

Wow, I am sorry I did not reply to your post earlier. That was very well thought out and so damn true. Thanks a ton for that and you are right I should embrace the silence.

Maybe you need to make a point to reach out more and not be a bummer. People like it when you call them also... Get your gf and have a party... and invite all your friends, and your brother :)