what must I do, this is just pathetic?

I have posted this thread in another section of this forum but figured this would suit here better.


I have been seeing this guy and we have a lot of mutual friends. Two years ago he tried to make a move on me and I feared he was infatuated by me so I stayed clear of him. Three months ago he approached me and we exchanged numbers and we had our first date. I was careful not to get close to him and then I though what the hell. It was exciting and he was everything I wanted in a guy but better.
I was out with him yesterday picking furniture for his new place. This was his firs big purchase and I was going to be on my best behaviour. The thing with this guy is that he can be crude and makes fun of my accent, ( he does not believe I have lived in the UK as long as I have). He makes me feel incompetent and a sort of trophy or sexual object. I still like him but experience tells me that I know where this is heading. I’m in two minds about this because he is the first guy that I have liked, but more importantly I don’t want to be hurt or make this experience horrible for him. I don’t know what to say or what to do to get him to back down and stop thinking I am stupid. I would appreciate some advice.

It's his personality....he's a jerk. You just tell him you don't need to listen to him putting you down...you don't find it funny, it makes you feel bad so it's time to call it quits. Simple...just tell him like it is. He is an abusive bastard, a control freak......just dump his ass.


Don't stay with him, you can't fix him. He might get all apologetic and say it won't happen again, but that is the trait of a serial abuser. You need be assertive and don't let this guy push you around.

Be completely open with him. Tell him exactly how you're feeling. Explain that you feel that he is being rude. Stand up for yourself.

Some guys like to pretend to be ass holes, because they think that girls like guys that are assholes (Which is partly true, I'll explain below).

If he keeps treating you like shit after that, leave him. He is not worth it. There are plenty of other fish in the sea.

Females are attracted to Alpha males. Before civilisation as we know it, women wanted to get with the Alpha male because he had the best traits (physically strong, confident etc.), so she would want those traits in her children. This has continued through evolution and it is why females are often attracted to guys who treat them badly. Treating a girl badly shows that you have SO much confidence, that you don't even CARE if a good looking girls likes you or not. Its all psychology. I studied it a while back.

If you want more info then this, look up a book called "The Game" by Niel Strouss.

he sounds just like the guy i was seeing . Deep down you exactly what you need to do . He`s not good for you .. What`s his name if i may ask ?