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End of a Marriage
So a few have seen and posted on my post regarding what was going on with my wife. We have split, and being the self-sacrificing fool I am, I more or less tried to boil out all the blame to end up on me. And to make sure she hated me so she never felt she made a mistake leaving me.
Just the type of individual I am. I've heard something about possibly needing cognitive therapy or the likes but that sounds very expansive and non-informative.
I want to get an idea of how I am suppose to move on. I gave this relationship 101% and that meant I was dedicated to it in every sense of form. I did not hold back on how I was as a person, or my personality flaws. And she had accepted them completely at the time of. As some have mentioned and many individuals not involved, it was most likely her lack of maturity and non-desire for a long term relationship at this stage in her life that ended things.
But how do I move on? I went above and beyond with this girl. I gave her things I only wanted to do with the girl of my life. I've had relationships before, but I never went to this extent, and devoted this much. Because they never got to such an important level to me.
So how does a guy who gave parts of himself, things he reserved only for his wife. . . move on?
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What "things" are you talking about? Physical? Emotional? If you're talking about your virginity, you obviously can't get that back and you have to just deal with it. If you're talking about emotions then you have to find ways to occupy your time until the pain fades. You also have to remember to NOT invest yourself so fully unless you know that you and your partner are on the same page. Obviously you were married, but you two shouldn't have been married unless you were both ready for it.
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Well obviously the marriage was an OK from both sides. And yeah, I am talking about those. I am talking about the many things I shared in experience beyond sexual as well. I shared things I never felt like sharing before in my life.
I guess the end sum though is no matter what, I will have to pull myself together and move along. There's no looking back in this situation and life will carry on with or without me.
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I can completely relate to you. Your situation is very similar to mine, except I never got the chance to enter into marrige although I very much wanted to.
You've put in your all, given more than you thought you could. I feel exactly the same, how do you move on. The way I'm trying to think about things,
not managing yet myself but hopefully will soon, is that there is so much more of life left. So many more experiences to discover. Once you find the next
someone everything will feel brand new again. Someone will help you move on, all you need to do is start believing you can. Don't put blocks on things,
like the usual I'm not ready. How do you know if you dont try.
Stay strong, believe in yourself and don't close yourself off. You will have moved on before you actually know it. When that will be you never know.
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Deem, thanks for your reply. I do appreciate it greatly.
I very much at am odds with myself, what to do. I wanted this relationship to work, to show all my extended family as well who this wonderful girl in my life was. Every friend of mine, even relatives knew how much she meant to me. And in our community and culture, that usually bears a lot of weight and meaning.
In the end, my wife ultimately said that the marriage was a flavor for a relationship. Though I am positive, when I see her actions even now, they way she was behaving. . . Knowing her as well as I do and knowing her family to. . . She was paining herself to do that. She wanted me to be very mad and disgusted with her and walk away forever. But she also forgot, I can never stay mad at her. I will always love her.