Threesomes prostitutes, cheating and mobile phone hacking
I am in a new relationship, I thought I was falling in love, but things have been very sexual, so it's been a bit confusing. It's only been 2 months. I have very strong feelings for this man and have felt like we have a super strong connection.
The history thus far… We met on a dating website. Not something I’ve ever really done successfully. I’ve been in a number of long term relationships (the longest being 13 years) and had some wild years as well, I’ve chosen to not have children with any of these men, as I haven’t felt ready/mature enough and have been unsure about them as prospective parents (maturity levels, sense of responsibility etc). He on the other hand has only had one longish relationship (being 1.5 years) and a lot of short term liaisons with numerous women, so a history as a bit of player. He’s 41, I’m 39. He says he is ready to settle down and have children and has come to the conclusion that he ‘no longer’ in his exact words ‘wants to be a lone wolf’. He's implied he's falling in love with me. The sex is amazing. He has questioned me quite intensely about whether I want children. He has a very well paid job and owns his own apartment. As he has stated he would be a very good provider. This man supposedly really wants to settle down.
Okay this is were things go pear shaped… As I stated it has been highly sexual between us from the start, including the watching of porn, pretty wild dirty sex and lots of talk about threesomes (at his instigation). As I told him I have had bisexual/lesbian experiences in the past, but it’s not really something I’m interested in now (it was all a long time ago). But am happy to trash talk during sex about this stuff, if it stokes the fire. So I guess in a way I’ve probably encouraged him. Anyway I stayed at his place this past weekend and there was lots of talk about threesomes, he said we should either get a prostitute (he did this with his ex-girlfriend) or find someone on a swingers website. He was texting all night as well which got me suspicious. Anyway I know this is screwed up, but I checked his text messages to discover that he'd been texting a prostitute he knew, that in his words she would have to pretend she didn’t know him, and that he would pay her to have sex with us.
Needless to say I was f@#king horrified!
I also found a bunch of very flirty text messages from some recently separated woman he knew years ago. He did tell me that she contacted him on facebook and via text and they were catching up this coming weekend with his brother. I said it sounded like she was sniffing around, and he acted all perplexed. There was no mention in the text that he was seeing someone (so he was playing single) or whether I was invited to this little get together.
When I got home I called him and told him I didn’t think we should see each other anymore, as I didn’t think we were on the same page. I told him all this talk about threesomes etc I found offensive, that I wasn’t into prostitutes or swinging, and that I couldn’t see myself being involved in this lifestyle, let alone consider having a family with someone that was. I did not tell him about checking his phone, as this has not been my proudest moment. He has begged me to reconsider, he has said that he will never mention it again and that he was a moron and just getting carried away etc… I asked him about the prostitutes, and he said that he didn’t know any (yeah right!). Anyway for some reason I acted like everything is okay and we could work it out, he seemed greatly relieved. Me on the other hand... Well I feel like a cancer is growing inside me...
I feel like I’ve opened a can of worms with this man that I shouldn't have. Would appreciate any thoughts…
