Should I part or should I not?
Hello, evening.
I really need urgent helps! Please please please give any possible advices to me!
I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for a year and nine months. He is five years older than me, however the age gap difference does not affect our relationship. The main problem is, two days before our 8th month being together, I found out from another friend that my guy had bought things like jacket, chocolates and ask for hugs from another girl of my school. And that girl, did not even tell me about it. She just kept quiet and secretly like and admire him of course! But at that time, (I guess I was probably out of my mind), I forgave the both of them. Personally, I hardly hate anybody. It is hard for me to hate. On top of that, I really love my boyfriend. I have had many relationship before, but those were small and immatures one. I am only 16 years old this year. He is the first guy, I had a serious relationship with.
After I forgave him, our relationship became better, because I gave everything in to him. If that girl can make him fall for her, why cant I? Right? I tried. But, just like any other relationships, there is bound to be bad times. Our bad times were rough. It was a lot. And it makes me stress all the time. He even told me not to stress him. However, who do I tell then? Previously, He caught me texting another guy. However, that guy was just a friend asking some questions, he even told me that he honestly don't text girl, and here I am texting boy. But he is much much much more worse! He text sweet things, and freaking deleted them so that I wouldn't be able to see it.
I really love him a lot. But I just want to break up. It's going to be a year since last year's incident. I tried putting myself into his shoes and understand why he does this. Is it because the feeling of starting a new relationship feels better? I'm at lost! I really don't know what to do at all. I want an answer. But I just can't seems to find that particular answer.
Recently, I realize I was just lying to myself. Ever since that day that I know about him and another girl, our relationship was nearing the end. I just pretended he love me. Pretended nothing happen, when truly till now, it means a lot me. It hurts to part now. It hurts because I love him. Because I know it's hard to live without him. He is a good guy... But he is good to her too. I don't want it this way. I don't like it this way.
I question myself all the time, "Why me? God, why me?" I had never ruin anyone's relationship before. I'm always friendly to people I met. Why me?
Should I part or should I not? I really don't know. I just want to get an answer. Tell myself the truth. Tell him the answer and just move on. I don't want to be hurt again. I'm scared.
