Need Help Coping

Hello All,

For those who don't know, I have posted on some issues before on this forum and there has been progress being made. But there is somethings bothering.

1. I know keeping active at my age (22) is healthy because it helps in the long run when I get older. I am working and going to school. Over the summer I experienced a huge amount of loneliness. I still experience loneliness even though I am active as much as I am. But as of late, I notice all of these nice girls and not one of them I don't think take notice of me. Which leads me to another issue.

2. Last semester I shared my feelings for a particular individual and unfortunately for me she did feel the same for me. But her and I share a lot of them same friends and my friends tells me just to forget about her. Well I have been trying too but I can't. Then the other day I was with some of my male friends and they kept on asking me, "Would you do stuff with her?" I believe we are all adults and knows what that means. Well the main instigator of the whole thing was the one who told me to forget about her and yet he was bringing her up. I felt so uncomfortable and upset all at the same time. My nerves were tore up all to pieces. Even though it did not show that I was upset I was.

3 Right now I am really wanting someone who I can mutually trust, express my feelings toward, be proud in taking her to my family's home, complete me and not until marriage (hopefully) (because I really want to be right about it) have a healthy sexual relationship. Mind you, I do not think no one is a piece of meat. Now I know there is no such thing as a 100% perfect match, but I know there is bound someone out there for me. I am so sad that they are not in my life now. I am so hurt by it.

4 One of the things that many people suggested is that I need to keep active (getting a job) and that is something good girls like, someone who is trying to support themselves. Now I am school and working with very little time to do anything. How can I even date even if I don't have the time for it. Seriously I would like more time to date, but I would like to, but there is one problem no one has took notice. Plus, I would like to date when I get off work, but I am usually real nasty where I work in cafe washing people's dishes which can be real gross at times. My hair is a mess, I smell kind of bad (not my fault, yes I take shower when I get home) and my face and glasses are caked with grease. Plus it is hard work and I get so tired.

5 One of my problems now is cursing. I don't think it is the worse thing you can do but too much of it is problematic. I get so easily irritated and upset over things it is not even funny. It is a bad habit I know, but when I vent those words come out.

6 I am a christian person but it seems like a harder and harder struggle to keep my faith and hope in things getting better. It is always something. I love Jesus and all and believe me I am open about my Christianity. At the same time many days I can not even see a ray of light in a dark tunnel, so to speak.

7. There are those times where I just feel like running away with packed bag in hand and just go somewhere. I get so mad over things I often wonder about running away to a place.

8. One thing that makes me so depressed is that anytime I see a girl that appeals to me and I express that I would like to have a casual date or just letting her know how I feel, she wants nothing to with me and it is sad. Just like the other day I met this girl at this coffee shop, she seems like a good girl and she is real smart. But her and I just met. I know she is a christian and we are facebook friends but I am not sure about how to go about it. When I see her I don't know what to says other that those 1 minute conversations you have with your neighbor.

9. This might sound weird then again it might be normal, but I really want to experience true love and passion with someone and want the things that I mentioned in number three. I know these things are meant to be pleasurable and meaningful if done right, but I have a fear dying alone and not getting a chance to experience those things when I am living. I would like to experience those moments while I am young, plus I would like to live a long and happy life with someone. I am not trying to sound sick minded, but do u think if I don't to experience that here on Earth, do you think I will get those opportunities to experience it after I give up this earthly body. I am not trying to sound mean or sick I just I have a huge fear.