Can You Stop Greeting Me, Ex-Friend?

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28-09-11, 01:34 AM
RawkStarrgrrl

Can You Stop Greeting Me, Ex-Friend?

I had a (male)friend that stated that they no longer wished to be my friend. The 'friendship' became one-sided and downright terrible. I accepted it, and moved on (deleted FB contacts, cell phone #, you get the drill). Neither of us have contacted the other for anything--nor should we, right? However, WHENEVER he sees me, he speaks (and it sounds fake or forced--and calls me by first name, even if I'm in a group), and I acknowledge (non verbally) his presence--but it makes me uncomfortable. I guess, in my mind, if a person no longer wishes to be in my company, why have ANY contact with me, or if we didn't agree to stay "nice" ("LET'S JUST BE FRIENDS or something similar). Once I'm done, it's done. I don't need validation to prove I'm doing okay to the other person, I suppose. I just don't know why he'll speak if he's the one that ended things. I'm ready to tell him to quit it. It's pointless. I know that may put me in a bad light, and I don't hate/dislike the person, I'm just indifferent when it comes to him now, so extending energy to even speak is something I'd rather not do. Thoughts?
28-09-11, 01:51 AM
imissher

Just be yourself, and don't give him what he wants in a reaction from you.
28-09-11, 01:52 AM
Cerby

Wow...He is at least trying to say Hi even though the friendship is over. Have you asked him to stop being friends with his group of friends, or just simply leave whenever you're around?

What you ask of him is too much, if you want him to stop talking to you, just tell him "Please stop talking to me". It almost sounds like you don't want this person around you or your friends at all. If you're "indifferent" to someone, then you usually don't care what they do or if they say anything to you. You still hate this person for one reason or another and don't want to sound petty admitting it.

If you don't want them to acknowledge you, then simply ask them to stop. This will however require you to spend some of your precious energy talking to them.
28-09-11, 01:57 AM
devonbrown

He is just being polite. I don't see any reason for you to criticize him for that. It doesn't sound like he is pushing to talk to you or anything. He is just acknowledging your existence. Perhaps he should be stoned.
28-09-11, 02:10 AM
RawkStarrgrrl

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cerby [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Wow...He is at least trying to say Hi even though the friendship is over. Have you asked him to stop being friends with his group of friends, or just simply leave whenever you're around?

What you ask of him is too much, if you want him to stop talking to you, just tell him "Please stop talking to me". It almost sounds like you don't want this person around you or your friends at all. If you're "indifferent" to someone, then you usually don't care what they do or if they say anything to you. You still hate this person for one reason or another and don't want to sound petty admitting it.

If you don't want them to acknowledge you, then simply ask them to stop. This will however require you to spend some of your precious energy talking to them.

I'm sensing sarcasm, but that's okay. :) Even if I did hate him, is that a crime? But I digress....

Like I said, I'm indifferent, but he's not, I suppose. Him speaking bothers me--yea, it does, but I don't harbour any resentment for him. Even if in a group, he has to put me on blast ("Hi (insert name here)!!!") I don't get it. If a friendship is over, what else is left?

Anyways, thanks for your input! :)
28-09-11, 02:15 AM
RawkStarrgrrl

Quote:

Originally Posted by devonbrown [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

He is just being polite. I don't see any reason for you to criticize him for that. It doesn't sound like he is pushing to talk to you or anything. He is just acknowledging your existence. Perhaps he should be stoned.

There's politeness, and there's fakeness. Again, we didn't decide to be friends after things ended (but how can you be friends, after breaking up as friends? lol), so why bother with speaking? I don't go out of my way to do it, but he does and I don't think he should. He should save his energy. What's done is done and we don't play a role in each other lives anymore. That's it. Why is that so hard to do?
28-09-11, 02:19 AM
devonbrown

Quote:

and I don't think he should.

So because he doesn't share YOUR opinion on what is worthwhile to do you are criticizing him for it.

I guess the only other option is to move to Alaska. Enjoy the winters.
28-09-11, 02:24 AM
RawkStarrgrrl

Quote:

Originally Posted by devonbrown [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

So because he doesn't share YOUR opinion on what is worthwhile to do you are criticizing him for it.

I guess the only other option is to move to Alaska. Enjoy the winters.

I used "THINK". Yea, my opinion, but that doesn't mean he'll acquiesce with the request. I haven't said anything yet regarding this. If he continues if/when I tell him...then that's him.