Switching back to friends

I had a long distance, online relationship with a friend. We never got the chance to meet in real life but were very much in love, and actually crushed on one another from the moment we met. So it's been hard to make the transition back, but we both have the same friends and we get along well besides, so it's not really a relationship either of us wants to cut off.

Nothing specific led us to break up, we just kind of drifted, and we both agreed to stop. It was hard for me, but I know she's got a wandering heart and I'd rather let her go than make her stay out of obligation. Only talking with her lately is really tough, because she tends to talk about the really iconic things from our relationship like nothing's changed, and doesn't hesitate to talk about sexual or very personal things. I don't get the vibe that she wants me back (not that it's an easy possibility to dismiss), but I'm annoyed that these things don't seem to register with her as topics that would be painful or uncomfortable to me.

I don't think she knows how hard I actually took things, and I don't want to make her feel guilty if it didn't bother her as much. I honestly would like to remain friends if we can both do it. But this hurts, and she's not making it any easier.

So any advice or experience on how to address it, or failing that, just deal? Thanks in advance!

Edit: For reference, I'm 21, she's 19.