Girlfriend of a year tried to dump me out of nowhere, what to do?
Hello all,
I'm back once again. You've all tried helping me with my relationship before and I appreciate it greatly, which is why I keep coming back here for advice.
That said... here's the situation, and thanks all in advance for reading.
I have been with my girlfriend for about a year, and every now and again she gets upset and tries to break up.
My girlfriend is the type that flip-flops and changes her mind easily, and she also is a self admitted quitter. When she doesn't like something she quits. Our last problem was 3 months ago after a vacation we took together, she got odd there and broke up with me a week later. We got back together but she said it would be for the last time.
This time around, things were once again fine. We have been planning to move in together for the last couple months. And lately we were even shopping around for homes and furniture/home decor. The plan was for me to relocate over to her town and get a new job over there.
I ended up losing my job at the beginning of the month. So I took the opportunity to stay at her place and job hunt in her town . Things seemed ok, she kept reassuring me we would get through it together and not to worry, cause even if she had to pay everything for a bit it would work out. I trusted her but busted my ass to find a job. During my time there with her I took care of her, cooked, cleaned, got her lunches ready for work etc. My usual thing, I like taking care of my girl. I had a job interview in my new town so I left Tuesday of last week to head back.
I get back and get hired, and on Tuesday everything seems ok, She says how she misses me etc. Weds though she doesn't really talk much to me, and gets upset with me that night for not explaining why I can't sleep. I told her though it was stress from losing my job and my feeling responsible for our well being. She doesn't have it and tells me she doesn't care anymore and good night.
Next day, barely talks to me. She text's me a little at work but that's it. She gets off work and then tells me we need to talk. Says I was annoying her over the weekend by not moving out of her way fast enough or rubbing her back every time she walked passed me. I understood, I habitually rub her when we idle in stores. She told me she wasn't sure if it was the situation that was frustrating her or that she generally couldn't stand me. I told her if it were the latter we wouldn't be able to be together at all, that this issue would have arisen sooner. I told her I would break the habit and we left it at that for the night, said good night, went to bed. Next morning we are talking like everything is normal. Suddenly she says we need to talk again, and tells me it's the same issue from the night before that's been bugging her. I offered to talk to her over the phone instead of text, she told me no, that she just wanted to end it. I was surprised.. since it doesn't seem like something a couple should break up over. I ask her why and she just tells me I am annoying her, and that even phone calls from me were annoying. I told her that she's making a hasty decision and time is needed for these things, that just the week before there wasn't any problems. She said 'sometimes a week is all you need to realize things.'
We argued for a bit whether or not to break up, I told her to just take a break from me for now, cause she was obviously upset and super heated and needed time to get over the anger before making a decision. She agreed and didn't talk to me for 5 days...
During these 5 days though she met up with some guys at a festival we were supposed to go to together, appeared to be flirting with them on Facebook too. I of course was torn up and upset but I gave her the space I promised.
She finally started speaking to me yesterday, but she told me she didn't even miss me and that she feels nothing for me. Said she FELT nothing for me the week before to. That my kissing her was annoying her, that I was all up in her business. I told her she should have said something, and she had been talking that week how she was going to start being more open with me now that a year was up. However she tells me that it's "the past" and that we shouldn't talk about it or think about it. It was JUST LAST WEEK. She has maintained that she only misses me 'as a friend' and that I'm one of her best friends and she doesn't want me to just disappear.
I tried to reason with her that the point of the break was to not make any hasty decisions and that she made a decision anyway, and that we have been together for long enough and that it makes no sense for feelings to just disappear. I asked her why she feels nothing, when it happened, etc. She just says she doesn't know, that it just isn't there. She becomes increasingly difficult to speak with about the issue, says I'm asking retarded questions etc. I asked her to at least wait one more week and spend more time to be SURE. We drop it and move on.
Today she starts acting a little better. She calls me and we discuss it, she says the 'couple thing is shaky' because she doesn't think the chemistry is there, but says she decided it would be messed up to just say 'screw you' and drop it like she did. We are gonna try slow, in baby steps as she says.
But I see her flirting with guys on her FB. She clearly isn't taking it seriously.
So my question is, where do I go from here?
