Girlfriend has called a break what do i do?

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03-10-11, 07:25 AM
battlingpig

Girlfriend has called a break what do i do?

We have been together for 9 months and she moved 200 miles away to start university for her first year. (This year I have started my 4th/final year)

The day before she left she expressed her deepest love, and for a self confessed ''un-emotion" type like herself, doing that was like breaking down a brick wall she caves herself in. So I deeply respect that of her.

From the day she moved we didn't have much contact, I gave her space to relax and forget about me for a while so she can adapt to her new life. Maybe too much? A week since she moved (3 days ago) she phoned me and announced the break. But i do understand and respect the fact that it is a huge part of her life right now, moving so far away from her family/friends/and her normal life. (In the break she said we just don't speak for a while and she will call me when she is ready)

I believe love is a lot of things, but believe it is also about doing special things by showing you love them, e.g surprise visits, romantic shin digs, little trinkets etc. I feel as though I haven't shown how much I love her recently. I hope this isn't why she called for a break. (is it too late for me to send her this cheap ass ring she wanted so badly? Could it reignite us? lame but she would find it cute.

I do believe we will get back together, but the wait is killing me, it's been 2 full days now and I need to know her decision.
I do not want to let her slide, she means the world to me and from what I get from her, I was her rock.

Do you think she will come to her senses or will it take some sort of action on my behalf by 'breaking the silence' or doing something courageous?

Just general friendly advice would be kind, i'm determined to not let myself get down about this one. I need pick-me-up ideas, something to stop me from thinking too much about it all. Its quite hard.. I don't want it to rub off onto my housemates; I try to keep smiling.

Thanks people
03-10-11, 07:40 AM
JDLong89

Im going thru the same with my gf. Read my forum on my profile because its pretty close to yours. She is going to a 4 yr university 8 hrs away from me and the whole reason shes doing it is because she thought i was going down there to. She called a break a couple weeks after moving down there.

So with the people that helped me out i learned that there is nothing in your power (ring or no ring, surprise or no surprise) that you can do to change her mind. She is experiencing a new life in her new college, this is normal. Shes trying to find herself so all that can help is time. Let her have her time and make new friends and if she loves you then she will come back, but dont sit around and wait on he return. Try to expand your life by doing things you want to do to help get your mind off of her. Its helped me so far so it may help you. Just be cool and when you talk to her act like your life is going well and try not to complicate the situation that your going thru and try not to be too emotional, she doesnt want to hear that.
03-10-11, 07:57 AM
mwahahaha

get drunk and pump a stripper ala Ross from the hit sitcom "friends". The beauty of this is, if she comes back all you have to do is watch future episodes to know what to do and say next.
God i miss that show, fckn hilarious. How you doing, fckn brilliant.
04-10-11, 06:14 AM
elny1

Don't talk to her at all right now. You can send her a text like once a week (NOT EVERY DAY or EVERY OTHER DAY) just to say hi and that you're still looking out for her. Give her a shit ton of space. If she wants to break up, there is nothing you can say or do to change her mind. (DONT SEND GIFTS!)

Not talking to her will allow her to think more clearly and it shows a lot of good composure on your side. Even if she breaks up, keep sending texts like once a week. Relationships are tough and we're all still trying to figure this stuff out (including her). Right now she needs you to admirably take a step back. Even if she does break up, this is the best way for you to still have a chance.

EDIT: If you like her, do not do anything with another girl. Focus on other aspects of your life right now and just don't worry about getting laid or jumping back into another relationship.
04-10-11, 10:20 PM
BackUpOrGetStng

Break up with her and tell her that you're not waiting around. You're open to getting back together, but you're not waiting around. You're together, or you're not, no breaks. Make sure you mention you're going to start moving on too.
04-10-11, 10:36 PM
devonbrown

I know you said you wanted pick me up ideas, but unfortunately I am not sure that I can provide that in good conscience. She is experiencing life on her own for probably the first time and it is her life she needs to experience. I am afraid that, while she may truly feel for you, your relationship is not as important as her need to figure out herself.

Quote:

I do believe we will get back together, but the wait is killing me, it's been 2 full days now and I need to know her decision.
I do not want to let her slide, she means the world to me and from what I get from her, I was her rock.

This is a huge red flag in my opinion. For her. Two full days and you NEED to know her decision? Give me a break. If she wants time apart, two days is not what she was thinking. Trust me, she is not sitting around thinking about your relationship 24/7 like you are. She is doing things for herself. You should be doing the same.

Quote:

Do you think she will come to her senses or will it take some sort of action on my behalf by 'breaking the silence' or doing something courageous?

Come to her senses? Because she wants to take time away from you she is out of her senses? Get over yourself. You are sounding very into yourself here and it is not an attractive trait. By the way, breaking the silence would be bad because she specifically has asked for space, so that would be showing her you do not respect her opinion. And I take it that by doing "something courageous" you mean something stupid?

If you are sure you two will get back together than just suck it up and give her the time she needs. But I have a feeling that you should start concentrating on yourself and your own life because I think the more she gets into her life more and understands more about herself, she will want to keep expanding her experiences and not retreat to what she already had.