Feeling pretty broken hearted and lonely, for a good reason
I should start this by mentioning that I've known my current girlfriend for 3 years and we were friends for 2 years before we actually started dating. The last year has been the best of my life and my girlfriend agreed on that when I asked if it was so for her as well. Now she's thinking of breaking up with me and I thought I'd share my story here.
I just turned 18 less than a month ago and my girlfriend is still 17. We have argued a lot during our relationship about little things and it has slowed it down a bit. However I can't possibly list all the amazing things we did together and until she told me she had thought about break up, I didn't appreciate our relationship enough. I kept arguing about little things and didn't give her much space. But now I feel like I'll do anything to continue our relationship, even though I don't know whether it's good or bad.
My girlfriend found a tumor/growth near my ear about 8 months ago and eventually I went to doctor to see what it was. All the doctors told me that it's most likely nothing bad and I had an surgery to remove it. They let me go home and I thought everything was finally fine and I didn't have to struggle through anything. About a month later, they called me and told me I had cancer. For the first few days I was really frustrated and kept crying for most of the time with my girlfriend. Eventually, we stopped crying and tried to get used to it. She is the only person who I have told about this situation exluding my family.
She has kept telling me it's all gonna be okay and she wants to be with me through the whole thing and that sometimes she stays up thinking about it. Once I turned 18, I spent few nights with my guy friends and she didn't like it, because we had planned something else for the weekend and she had to be alone for a night and she didn't want me to come over after that. Since then she's been going out for few times without me and also told me how awesome time she had had, because for once she didn't have to argue with me like we usually do when we go drinking and also kept telling me how funny people he met, mostly guys. I felt pretty bad about it and we kept arguing about these things for some time. Then, last saturday after we had argued on phone because she had gone out in nightclub with her and mine friends as well and didn't want me to come there with her, I went to her place and tried to be nice to her.
She had seemed pretty odd that day and soon she told me that she doesn't know if our relationship works anymore. I started crying and told her how much I still love her and that I can't handle the whole cancer situation myself as she was the only person I had ever trusted with it and the only person who I could cry with. She hasn't decided anything yet, but yesterday when I slept over and asked her few questions, she told me it was because she doesn't feel the same way anymore. I started crying again and she promised that if we were to break up, she would still come to hospital with me and support me. That meant a lot to me, but I'd still find it very hard if I had to go to hospital while she was partying and dating other guys while I could only think about her as at the moment, I don't feel like I could date anyone else.
I'm here to ask your advice on what I should do. Should I give her some free space now to calm down and see if she still misses me, even though after I had "betrayed" her we didn't see for 5-6 days and she hadn't missed me at all? Or should I just keep being very nice to her and try to prove how much I still love her even though she told me not to "try too much" and just act normal? I don't really know what to do. She wants to go drinking with her friends tomorrow and when I ask "Aren't you going with me like usually?", she responds something like "Well, I guess I can be with you as well if you want to.." even though we have always done that and she used to be the one who insisted we do so.
I don't wanna lose her, but I want her to be happy. I'm also scared that if we continue our relationship like this, she might cheat on me and still keep dating with me without telling it. This might sound pretty stupid and childish situation and even though I bet most of you are thinking we should break up already, I can't explain well enough how much fun we've had together and how well we fit together when we don't argue.
Please! What should I do? (I didn't doublecheck the text, but I hope it's somehow understandable)
By the way, I went to body scan for first time today. Day after tomorrow I'm gonna find out how much has the cancer spread and what will they have to do. So I'm still fine and the cancer isn't anyhow noticeable!