Advice appreciated

I met a guy on holiday, and we did sleep together, I thought i'd be mature and think nothing of it. I don't remember swapping numbers but we did.
When I got home he texted me, so we started chatting. We hung out and started chatting nearly everyday.

We spoke for about 3 weeks then decided to meet up again. We were chatting and he said something along the lines or 'What are you thoughts on casual relationships, are you ok with them' I decided to be honest and say, I thought i was ok but I need some commitment. Mainly meaning a title of being someones girlfriend doesn't bother me, but I'd want to know if they were going round sleeping with other people. He then commented that, that is a relationship.
Now after he's told me that he 'apparently' likes me, But mentions he's simply too busy for a relationship, am I just someone he's using for sex? When I asked him if he'd be going round sleeping with other girls his answer was 'I've told you I like you'
Yet he shows me affection, makes comments about meeting my parents, likes cuddling me etc...

Would just like a mans POV, as I don't really want to make myself look like a total idiot, trust and develop feelings for someone who is just playing the field.

Thanks

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by niggles [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

We spoke for about 3 weeks then decided to meet up again. We were chatting and he said something along the lines or 'What are you thoughts on casual relationships, are you ok with them' I decided to be honest and say, I thought i was ok but I need some commitment. Mainly meaning a title of being someones girlfriend doesn't bother me, but I'd want to know if they were going round sleeping with other people. He then commented that, that is a relationship.

---

You're contradicting yourself there. You're not ok with a casual relationship and want to be his girlfriend instead. As I understand, casual means lack of committed relationship.

Quote:

---

But mentions he's simply too busy for a relationship, am I just someone he's using for sex?

---

No, he's not using you at all. You guys are just having sex. Both of you. He's very open about being too busy for a relationship. If that's not ok for you, then stop having sex with him.
If he did say that he wants a relationship but wasn't ever going to have one with you, he'd be using you.

Quote:

---

When I asked him if he'd be going round sleeping with other girls his answer was 'I've told you I like you'

---

That means either 'no' or he's just avoiding the question. If it's important to you, tell him to answer properly.

Quote:

---

Would just like a mans POV, as I don't really want to make myself look like a total idiot, trust and develop feelings for someone who is just playing the field.

---

You don't look like an idiot for satisfying your needs. It's normal to develop feelings for someone you have sex with. If that happens, and if the relationship isn't an option (such as in this case), you should break off.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by niggles [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

When I asked him if he'd be going round sleeping with other girls his answer was 'I've told you I like you'

---

That means "yes". Otherwise he would have answered straight away, since he knows you'd prefer if he didn't. Ask him again, directly, and don't let him avoid the question. Then decide whether you're ok with it or not. Don't keep seeing him even if you don't like your current relationship only in hopes that some day it will change.

Cheers for the response

I'm a guy. If you are happy with just sex, then he's not using you. If you both agree to it, what's the problem? But it does sound like he only wants sex for now.

He got what he wants, sex and only sex. Now he is trying to keep you around so the sex stays around.

it's time to play hard to get... watch his response and see if he goes crazy for you... or if he is not bothered at all.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Lovehelper [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

it's time to play hard to get... watch his response and see if he goes crazy for you... or if he is not bothered at all.

---

That could be an indicator, but tough to decipher.

I was "hooking up" with a girl who wanted more from me, once she started ignoring me I wanted her attention, but that was it (I think... WTF, why ignore me? You don't like me?) so I would text her, but didn't want to be with her anymore than previously. It sounds like the original poster of this thread may be in a similar situation.

I haven't really bothered making an effort, and he's been texting me. (it's not even i'm playing hard to get I just don't have much to say to him now)

but the thing is, I didn't even bring up the subject of it going further, he did. Then when he heard I wasn't down for casual he got all defensive.
Now he seems to constantly bring up that 'he doesn't want me thinking he's using me for anything' I've said to him it's cool, 'i know where we stand and what this is', but why KEEP bringing it up. It's like jesus I know you're not wanting anything more than sex.

Perhaps you haven't convinced him that you're cool with the casual relationship. Mabe it's your demeanor, who knows.

Im not sure if i agree with the rest of the comments on this thread that "the guys only using you for sex", seems like a lot of mixed signals on both sides. If he's making comments about 'meeting your parents' sounds like he's considering being serous with you. Most guys these days want to keep things cool at the start of a relationship by dating the girl for a while BEFORE agreeing to be their boyfriend, so they are 100% sure they want to get into a serious relationship with a girl. So by this keeping it casual thing he's probably been seeing if you both click before taking the next step.