Need Advice: Dating Good Friend's Ex
Hello everyone. This is my first post here, I'm sure everyone has at least known someone in this situation as it's not incredibly uncommon. Regardless, I am 20 years. I have been best friend with a girl, Anna, since I was 15. I became good friends with my friend Kevin when I was 17. When we were 15, Kevin began dating Anna, took her virginity then dumped her, breaking her heart. Two years later, he began restlessly chasing her and trying to get her back. He couldn't, so I began to try to have a relationship with her. This after 2 and a half years of dating another girl, named Alex.
Regardless, Kevin ended up getting back with Anna after me and her went to prom when my efforts failed. Meanwhile, one of my good friend's Jack ended up dating my ex. I was furious, and for 2 months I pouted about it and was completely crushed. Nonetheless, I made up with Jack and we became great friends again once he apologized to me.
Kevin and Anna dated for 4 months, and after 1 or 2 months of getting along great, they began to argue constantly and each would individually bicker to me about the other one. They broke up for 8 months, got back together for 1, then broke up for good. This is where the problem started. A month later, me and Anna got together while intoxicated. I felt incredibly guilty as it was so soon, but she initiated it herself and I have always loved her. I immediately told Kevin, and he was fine with it, signing it off as a 1 time thing. This was not the case. It happened again. And he didn't hear about it from me. This time he was furious. I promised him I wouldn't do it again...but then I quickly broke that promise. I attempted to just resume my friendship with Anna but the temptation was too great after we had already been together, and after loving her for so many years.
At this point, I decided I had to completely stop talking to her, I didn't want to hurt my friend as I'd been hurt. I tried to be a loyal, good friend, but I was absolutely miserable. Totally split between two friends. Here she was, the girl I've always loved, within reach and begging me to be with her, but me refusing. After 1 more month, I told Kevin I had to be with her and that I loved her and I would be miserable otherwise. We haven't talked since, I know he hates me. I guess my question is, am I actually doing something morally wrong here? Should I feel completely guilty, I certainly do..he claims his main problem is that I've been through it and know how it feels yet I'd do it to him, which is understandable.
Side note - I know me continuing to get involved with her after promising I wouldn't is completely unacceptable. I am not concerned with the morality of this, as I know it was wrong. It was a mistake and is my biggest regret in all of this since the trust has been broken
