Time to move on...but how?
We lived together 13 months, knew each other 14.
We met when I was in community housing and just unemployed,
He was working in parliament full time and about to return to study.
He also lived on the other side of the city and drove to see me everyday for a month.
Problems started when he moved himself in and got rid of his apartment
(without telling me till hed moved in)
the pressure was on me to find any kind of work, I constantly felt berated and put down in front of his freinds, I felt like it was all about what he wanted. I worked terrible jobs and was miserable from the day he moved in.
After our first year anniversary and no card, no flowers, no I love you, happy anniversary, no anything (and I really mean that) and him forcing himself on me I was shattered, I had been having second thoughts for a while ( 7 months). Anytime I told him something was wrong, or that his behaviour was hurting me, he would talk circles around me, how it was me misinterpreting him, that it was me, that if things in his life changed than so would he. so I worked longer hours, got terrible pay, hated the people I worked for and came home to him drinking on the couch, to cook the dinner at 8:30 at night, clean up and do the ironing for the next day.
after 14 months and watching him putting down me, my freinds/ family and finally his (whom I became very close to) I had enough, packed my bags and woke him up one morning after he had for the 3rd night in a row come home drunk, to tell him I was leaving. I gave him a list of the reasons, he burned them infront of me, the next 3 days consisted of me trying in vain to speak over the top of him about how I loved him but we were not compatible in so many ways - sexualy, emotionally, fiscally, energy wise, or nearly any single level. He dismissed every one, he begged me over and over to give him a chance to fix it, after two days of continual fighting I left, and went home to be reconsiled with my family.
Its now 3 months on, I love my family life, living back in the suburbs, having friendds again, doing the things I want to, saving for a new car (I had to sell mine to pay rent because of credit debt) being able to save my money and not buy things I dont want to all of the time, and finally having a job I love.
We're trying to "work things out" He has a way of turning my head inside out till I dont know whos thoughts are whos, and though Iv tried to break up with him in person and via email, I have nearly given up on myself, and I dont know how to do this, I feel so weak, I keep caving, but now its at the point where I cant bare the hour long phone calls critising me and telling me how Im not giving us a chance, I dont want to sleep with him or even see him, he sends me messgaes all through the day and disrupts my work, what should I do??? How do I do this???
I dont know If what Im doing is right anymore, I have no idea whats what anymore, Im only 22 and this is my first long relationship, its my first break up, I am Lost!!!! Please help!
