Help needed! ( Warning long!)
Warning, this is going to be a bit of a long one.
A bit about me. I am 28 and now living at home, saving up to move out again. I keep pretty fit training for Ironman distance triathlons. I am also quite geeky and have read the game, mm and lots of other PUA materials. I used to do pickup quite a bit and have had quite a number of girlfriends over the years. Lately the last 3 or 4 years though, since I have been living at home I have not really gone out as much and have kind of dedicated myself to training and also to qualifying as a chartered accountant. I am nearly done with that, with my last exam in December.
She is 25 gorgeous HB 8 and living in a flat above her mums pub. She is a bit of a nutty girl and works in a job she hates.
Me and my girlfriend have been dating for 11 months and we broke up last Friday.
We had been planning on moving in together only a month and a half ago, I thought everything was going great:
An email from her end of August:
I believe you are off on Thursday, the next month is going to be weird. When you get back from your holiday it’s not going to be long and them im off. BUT then when I am back its not long until we are going
to be under the same roof. :D
Eeeeeee!
How’s your morning been treating you el spazz squirrel?
x
Anyway, I went on a family holiday for 2 weeks and then when I got back she didn’t quite feel the same about us moving in together. The flat is quite small and she said she needed a bit more space and had
been thinking about it and that we would probably end up killing each other if we moved into this tiny space together. I kind of agreed and said that I thought we should start looking for a bigger place
though as I was still keen on moving in at some point in the future.
She then went to Ibiza on a bit of a raving holiday with some friends and when she came back I thought everything was ok again. She messaged me quite a lot(every day),sent me a postcard etc, brought me back
a present.
I thought everything was ok, although one of the main sports she has a passion for she has decided to quit as she no longer enjoys all the tactics of it etc.
She was feeling a bit down when she got back from holiday, since she was dreading going back to work, she really hates it there, so I got her a nice bunch of flowers and a card with ducks on it( In the card
instead of writing To Liz, hope this cheers you up etc, I wrote Quack, quack, Quack, quack, Quack, quack)
So yeah,on the Thursday night I spent the time over hers and she was feeling a bit shit since she was off her medication. She is on 10mg of Citalopram, but she went down to Dorset for a family thing on the
Saturday before we broke up and lost all her tablets, so for the last week she was not on anything and had been feeling like shit. I ask her that night if she has been thinking anymore about su moving in
together and she says that her friend anna is probably going to be moving in as she needs a place to stay and she hasn’t thought about us at all.
So yeah, we get up in the morning and she is a bit cold and distant and then she drives to town where she can go to work and I can get a train to work.
After we get out the car she tells me that she is not "feeling us" anymore and that we should break up. I am at this moment in time a bit gob smacked, she said it was just a series of small little things
like:
1/ I was rude to her on her birthday a couple of months ago as I had booked harry potter premiere and she was 30 mins late.... We eventually made up and everything was good I thought. I think I was still
justified in being a bit off with her as she is always late and it is one of the only things we ever used to row about. I think it is just disrespectful being really late for things that have been arranged.
2/ when the HP touchpads went on sale for like 1/3 the price. I automatically got myself one and didn’t get her on even though she said that if i saw one available to get her one as she wanted one and would
pay me back. I did eventually get her one, but had to pay a bit more over the odds
as everywhere had sold out. I apologised for being selfish and being a bit of a dick and said she would only have to pay me the original cost. I would swallow the extra I paid. I earn about 1/3 more than
her.
There wasn’t really much else for her to say, other than that.
I am just a bit lost as to how there can be such a complete U-turn in such a short space of time. Moving in together to broken up...
Before she went on holiday we were pretty inseparable and used to see each other during the week at least once and used to hang out at the weekends as well.
Later that morning I sent her an email . I was pretty raw at the time and wonder if it was a good idea or not and whether I came across as uber needy.
Hi Liz,
I am going to really, really, miss you.
I loved spending time with you and have some really nice memories of us when we were together. The trip down to Cornwall, the time you picked me up in London that night :) So many......
I think the emotion I am currently experiencing most at the moment is sadness.
I thought you were the girl for me.
I thought we had a bright future together and that one day we were going to go on awesome travels to Thailand, America and all over. I looked forward to us moving in together and having a geek den with all
our little gadgets and stuff. I also looked forward to us doing 10ks and other sporting things like London to Brighton. I guess we won’t be doing that together now.
You can keep all of my stuff that you have.
I am not very good with goodbyes, but since I probably won’t ever see you again, I hope you have a nice life and you pick up your photography and do really well. You are an amazing, gorgeous young woman and
you can do anything you put your mind to. You just need to have the confidence in yourself. I know you can do it and I hope that you realise it too. I hope you have a nice few little squirrels one day. Shame
they won’t be T Horns.
Goodbye
Love
Mr Squirrel
xx
She did reply to the email I sent it later that night, but since I don’t have access to my work email from home I only picked it up on Monday morning.
I'm sorry that i have made you sad, i really am.
Your email was very sweet.
I know we have had good times and they are good memories to have, we have had lots of fun, i never said that we didn't. But just over the past few months things have changed and just very recently i haven't
been feeling us.
I don't know what will happen in the future (I'm not Mystic Meg) but i really hope that you get through your exams and everything, I'm sure you will seeing as you have got this far. I know you may have
missed the past couple hurdles but you can do it. You will be super accountsman McHorn.
As well as that your desire for your sports is great, i expect that you will become fitter and faster and win lots of medals along the way.
If you do ever go for the plunge and get your tattoo, send me a pic. Would be good to see the artwork that you choose and stuff.
I don't quite know what i have of yours, but if there is anything you can think of that i haven't seen let me know and we can meet up and i can get you it. Will arrange to meet to get you your skate pads at
some point. Also, let me know your bank details and i will transfer that money over to you when i get paid. I hope that is ok.
Look after all your family (specially your mum the silly sausage). You need to be super horn and look after them all.
Take care xx
At the moment, after reading through lots of advice on this area, I think the best thing is to completely sever contact. I have deleted her off facebook and twitter(her mum is still my friend on facebook and
we have a few mutual friends). I was then planning on reinitiating contact again in a months time asking for my skate pads back and if she could meet me somewhere mutually convenient to get them. We could
then go for coffee etc.
Our Aniversary woudl have been 5th November. Should I reinitiate before then or after that date ?
I have asked the advice from a few girls including my sister and she says I need to bust ehr on what the real reason was as the "not feeling it" seems like a complete load of shit.
Do you guys think this is fixable if I "man up" ?
Any advice would be appreciated. I am feeling a bit shit her at the moment. We always used to message each other goodnight and stuff and the last few days with just silence have been a bit meh.
What do I do if she makes contact before ? payday is towards the end of this month and she might message or call me asking for my bank details.
I think she lost attraction for me, because I turned into a bit of a wussy. What do you guys think ?
At the moment she owes me money for a HP touchpad, about £100 and has some of my rollerskate pads as well as a few other bits and pieces. Do I just email her back my bank details so I get the money ? or just
completely leave it for a month or so.
My plan for the next month is just to keep training hard. I have already run 30 miles in the last 3 days and to make sure I pass my last exam. I am also going to go and get my hair highlighted. I think a bit of a change and refresh is in order.
