is it worth the risk?

iv been seeing a guy for a few weeks and iv tried really hard not to get attached. We tried to have sex other day but it just well.............................didn't happen! then as he's mates with my house mate he told him that he didnt know where he stood with me and didnt feel like he wanted to pull anyone else. so i thought id ask where i stood. big mistake (i think) as he really likes me but doesnt want anything serious as ther isnt much of 2nd yr at uni left till summer. fair enough but he doesnt know what he means by 'not serious' and wants to carry on as we were. and as we are about to try again i cant help but think he wants to someone to sleep with. so other than not sleeping with him i cant think of what to do to help me, i know if i do il get attached and then hurt. as far as hes concerned nothing is wrong and we are going to carry on as we were. please help im driving my self insane

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Originally Posted by flossie

iv been seeing a guy for a few weeks and iv tried really hard not to get attached. We tried to have sex other day but it just well.............................didn't happen! then as he's mates with my house mate he told him that he didnt know where he stood with me and didnt feel like he wanted to pull anyone else. so i thought id ask where i stood. big mistake (i think) as he really likes me but doesnt want anything serious as ther isnt much of 2nd yr at uni left till summer. fair enough but he doesnt know what he means by 'not serious' and wants to carry on as we were. and as we are about to try again i cant help but think he wants to someone to sleep with. so other than not sleeping with him i cant think of what to do to help me, i know if i do il get attached and then hurt. as far as hes concerned nothing is wrong and we are going to carry on as we were. please help im driving my self insane

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Do not do what he wants but do what you really feel right about. If he likes you enough, then he would have to consider his postion!

Sounds like he is giving you the run around. A little bit of a lame excuse to blame the amount of time remaining in this semester! I would be worried about his vague excuses, lack of emotional commitment and generally not being completely open/honest.

Why is he concerned about being friends with your flat mate - maybe because if you two did get it together and things went "wrong" the atmosphere in your house could become pretty bad.

From your post (and your other one about trying to achieve an orgasm) I get the impression that your pretty innocent.

I think you already know the answer, if you have sex with him and his still non-commited to you...you're going to feel gutted! It's a risk, but then again...if you're not bothered and just after sex then...whatever really...

Well, I know from very recent experience when you have friends living together and a girl that one of you knows gets with the other guy...mmmm things could get ugly so he's just covering all his bases.

But you can tell, just by reading in this forum how men act when they're head over heals for a girl. If that enthusism isn't present, then it's just a little thing, maybe some pillow talk.

Keep your options open.

well iv just spent an hour on the phone to a bloke i was seeing prior to this one, he called me cos he misses me and wants me to call him if it all falls apart with the new one. He said he definatley isn't back up as he had me prior. il just have to find out one way or another what he really wants even if it means a little bit of acting. blokes who just want a partner to sleep with dont take long to show their true colours especially when denied what they want. i hope so anyway

He doesn't want anything serious but he's prepared to have sex with you. I think you should stay away