Jealousy = Me not trusting her?

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23-10-11, 10:21 AM
LoversBeach

Jealousy = Me not trusting her?

Hello,

My girlfriend and I decided we should take a break because lately I've been emotional for the past month or so (and it's not like me to get so emotional) and she gets upset because I remind her of her ex-boyfriend.

Sooo....I get jealous of her ex-boyfriend and her guy friend...

Because of my jealousy issue she seems to think that I don't trust her when shes around her ex boyfriend or her guy friend... that's not true at all. I trust her 100%. I just don't trust her ex boyfriend because one time he inappropriately touched her and now my girlfriend lets him tickle her? She got mad that I was jealous and told me that I should trust her, which like I said I do, but she doesn't believe me... so she said she wouldn't go over there to his house anymore...and I said that she still could and that I wasn't going to control her or anything...

With her guy friend I got jealous because I felt that she was talking to him more than she was talking to me, which I admit, was stupid because all she was doing was cheering him up because his girlfriend apparently cheated on him.

Well this lead to the break.. we decided that we needed one so I can find out why I've been so emotional and so she can figure out if she can trust me or not because I hid things from her and lied to her...which hurt her really bad..

So my question is... does Jealousy = Trust issues?

Also, I need help finding out why I've been so emotional lately..

This is a long distance relationship btw.
23-10-11, 11:05 AM
tjtigers14

This is either a troll or you are a huge bitch of a man. This is an issue of her looseness, not your jealousy. Find a girl that lives around you and doesn't let her ex-boyfriend tickle her (seriously?).
23-10-11, 11:13 AM
mwahahaha

yeah, agreed , you should be tickling this dudes face with your toe end my man, and your bird sounds looser than my trousers after a curry and double nan bread.
Never mind all this "having a break" pish. Get her told straight. Your way or the highway. Birds appreciate a bit of manliness, try it. As for this other comedian with the oh my gf left me bullshit. oldest trick in the book. He`s trying to pump your bird. Ive used that line a hundred times, its a fckn classic kinicker dropper. In summary, wtf.
23-10-11, 12:43 PM
wanderlustboy

Is your girlfriend the mental one, or are you?

Is it all in your head, or hers? Weird. I think I'll stay right out of this one.

wlboy
23-10-11, 12:54 PM
LoversBeach

Wow, seriously? I came here for helpful advice on my relationship and I get none... whatever.
23-10-11, 12:56 PM
tjtigers14

haha forums aren't just about coming on and asking questions when you feel desperate. Jk..that's what pretty much everyone here does. Just reply to your own post and it will go back to the top
23-10-11, 12:59 PM
mwahahaha

Keep your knickers on Oprah. I gave you some good advice. Basically, youre bird is taking this piss, tell her to get her act together, or give her the elbow.
23-10-11, 02:37 PM
wanderlustboy

Quote:

Originally Posted by LoversBeach [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Wow, seriously? I came here for helpful advice on my relationship and I get none... whatever.

I thought my post was reasonably informative; it indicated that I thought the concept of her breaking up with you because you remind her of her ex is so mental that I thought it quite possible that it was some kind of paranoid fantasy on your part.

If she really is behaving as described, stay well clear. If you pursue a relationship with her it'll all end in tears; she'll be boiling bunnies, and you'll be applying for a concealed carry and a restraining order.
23-10-11, 02:52 PM
wanderlustboy

Quote:

Because of my jealousy issue she seems to think that I don't trust her when shes around her ex boyfriend or her guy friend... that's not true at all. I trust her 100%. I just don't trust her ex boyfriend because one time he inappropriately touched her and now my girlfriend lets him tickle her?

See, this inconsistency is what caused me to be circumspect. She says she broke up with you because some resemblance of either behaviour or physical characteristic reminds her of her ex; presumably an upsetting thing otherwise she would be dragging you into the bedroom rather than breaking up with you. And yet she chooses to spend time with him.

And what do you mean he touched her inappropriately? What, he slapped her on the arse or put his hand down her blouse? I mean, if they were in a relationship and it was done only once.... clearly, rape and sexual assault can occur in a relationship, but grabbing your SO's arse could hardly be construed as being of the same nature as molestation carried out towards a stranger or nonconsenting individual.

Quote:

Well this lead to the break.. we decided that we needed one so I can find out why I've been so emotional and so she can figure out if she can trust me or not because I hid things from her and lied to her...which hurt her really bad..

I hate to be the one to inform you; she didn't institute a "break" to be in effect while the cause of your emotional distress and paranoia is determined. This isn't a police officer being stood down while he is cleared of corruption or brutality charges. What she was doing was breaking up with you, trying to soften the blow by not giving it the finality of a break up (not brilliant behaviour, but very common in break ups), and gently suggesting you seek some professional help.

I wouldn't rule out the possibility of getting back together, that has happened to me; just that it is highly unlikely.

Quote:

So my question is... does Jealousy = Trust issues?

As with everything, it depends on context. if you have good reason to have suspicions about something, then it is not a psychological issue. If your suspicions are not only baseless, but persistent to the verge of obsession, then you probably have either trust issues (though that's a pretty unscientific term) or a mental health problem, a symptom of which is paranoia.

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Also, I need help finding out why I've been so emotional lately..

I'm afraid that is somewhat beyond the scope of this forum. Consult a mental health professional, psychologist or counsellor.

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This is a long distance relationship btw.

I just spend all this time writing answers and it turns out now it's probably not even a real relationship. I mean, if it's long distance in the sense that you live far apart but catch up every second weekend, fair enough. But if by long distance you mean conducted by internet, then this is ****ing panto and she didn't really break up with you because there was no relationship, and whatever her ex's faults, she actually spends time with him in actual person... i.e. a real relationship. Quite possibly more than she does with you.

My advice becomes, ditch the angst and frustration by simply ending the "relationship", and then get in touch with someone who can help you work through your issues, and hopefully you will come out of the process ready to engage in a relationship with someone who you can actually spend time with.

wlboy