Confused in love - what do I do?

I am a married man, I have been with my wife for 10 years, but only got married less than a year ago. less than 3 months after we got married we had separated as we were having severe difficulties in our relationship. I didn't think we could sort out the overwhelming issues we had accrued over 10 years but 3 months after the breakup we patched it up and have been trying ever since to work it out. I have come in leaps and bounds in my progress, I no longer lose my temper at the drop of a hat, I try logic to diffuse arguments and I employ little techniques like playing a game of cards with her to ease out of frustration and anger which works brilliantly. However she is still overly irrational, argumentative and controlling! We have sat down and discussed the issues over and over again and we are really trying to work this out, BUT I have a serious problem - I'm not sure that I am in love with her anymore. I have lost the spark for her that I held, worse still, I think I am falling in love with another woman. I have not done anything that would damage my integrity but I like to hang out with this girl whenever I can, we are work mates so I see her when we cross shifts and every time I lay eyes on her I can't breathe and my heart stops. I don't feel that way about my wife anymore, in fact I feel trapped as I am only working casual hours and she is the main bread winner while I study at uni. This other girl knows that I am married and she knows that I hide my time spent with her from my wife. I hide it because she would flip out (and has done simply for liking my friends status's on facebook), I basically can't have female friends without being called untrustworthy. This other girl would never become a homewrecker, she is too moral for that, and I like to think I am too. I haven't told her directly how I feel other than to say that she is important to me and that I value her and she makes me smile and feel lighter inside. If I were to leave my wife, I have no idea what I would do, where I would go, how I could afford to survive and I have nothing to support me as all my family is on the other side of the country and I have no real friends to rely on. I am also afraid to hurt my wife, as I do love her, I don't want to be a nasty jerk or whatever. I know that she wouldn't take it well if i told her how I really feel, she knows that I am distant but I say its pressure from uni. She knows we are trying to get it together and we are still rocky but she has the control in the relationship, I can't breathe without her knowing it. She controls the financials, where we go, what we do, who I hang out with, everything. I'm lost in a sea of emotion and I don't know whether to break up with my wife (or even how I would break up with her) and pursue this other girl, or just suck it up and ride it out with the wife and deny my feelings for this other girl until either they go away or she moves on. She was on a dating website today while I hung out with her, it upset me but I didn't let it show. She goes out and all I want to do is go out with her but the wife doesn't like going out so I can't either. I basically sit at home unless I either need to work, go to uni or shop, except when the wife is at work and I can escape but if I spend any money she knows about it and questions me and the events of that day - she knows when I lie so its not like I can hide that from her. What do I do?