Lazy, unmotivated boyfriend? Or am I being unreasonable?
Hi everyone, i'm real confused and lost with what to do with my situation. I don't have many friends I can speak to about this, i'm a pretty busy person, and just don't have the time to sit and talk to someone about my relationship problems. I'm 21 years old, and my boyfriend is 28. We've been together for going on three years now.
We've lived together for two of those three years. When we first met, he had a full time steady job, a means of transportation, and social life, and seemed like a well rounded guy. We hit it off real quick, and soon found we had alot in common. About a year later, we rented an apartment together.
After about six months, I noticed a huge change, He lost his job, and was constantly looking for a new job, or getting fired, or looking for excuses not to go to work. He complains that he is sick, that his head hurts, that he's been throwing up, and the excuses go on and on and on. He's going on 28 years old, he hasn't been to college, let his truck get repossesed, i've covered his part of expenses on multiple occasions, we're behind on our electric bill, he now has so much debt it's ridiculous. He doesn't really help clean the house, and if he does it's half-a**ed, the only things he does while at home is occasionally take our dogs outside, play xbox, and drink beer.
He works about 3 hours a day as a server at a restraunt, and I am usually the one giving him a ride back and forth to work, because his lisence is suspended for tickets, and because he no longer has a vehicle.
On the other hand, I am a manager at an office, I work 55 hours a week, and go to school part time. I come home, clean the house, do my homework, study, take care of the dogs, and he watches me do this, while he looks for pot to smoke, or drinks his beer, or plays the xbox.
Then when I say anything to him, he tells me that he's trying and that I am being unreasonable.
He blames me, and tells me that it's because he feels like I am no longer attracted to him, and to be honest, I'M NOT, I resent him, because I have to work constantly, pay part of his bills, take care of his dog, all while i'm in school. He constantly asks to borrow my car, to take him places, to pick him up from somewhere.
And when I bring anything up to him he gets pissed! Then he gets mad when I don't want to have sex with him. I work 11 hours a day, go to school for three, then clean the house and take care of dogs. of course i'm going to be too tired and exhausted to have sex with him.
I've tried talking to him about it, and it doesn't work. he'll ask me why I don't want to have sex with him anymore, and when I start explaining to him that I am tired, he says things like he's trying, or that he's tired of not feeling needed. It's driving me INSANE.
and he's the most NEGATIVE person on the face of the planet. I almost can't STAND to be near him for more than a few minutes. He INSTANTLY brings my mood down.
I'm on this new lease by myself, and he is living with me, but I can't pay for ALL the bills by myself, and it's only a one bedroom apartment. Plus if I kick him out he'll be homeless. I'll have to quit school and get a second job, and I don't want to have to do that.
I still have 11 months on this lease. I don't know what to do! Thanks so much in advanced, if you have any other questions, feel free to ask me, i'm sorry this is so long, I just really need another persons opinion of this.
