How can I get my boyfriend to crave me sexually again? (Frustrated)

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27-10-11, 01:53 AM
am76

How can I get my boyfriend to crave me sexually again? (Frustrated)

We are in our mid 20's, have been dating a year and some change, and I'm SERIOUSLY missing how things were at the beginnging. He used to compliment me SO much, I would always blush, he would come on to me.. We would be kissing and he would stop to tell me how gorgeous I was.. Things like this.

Recently, I've tried sending dirty pictures throught the day and I get back.. hehe nice. I will write up this long dirty text about the things I want to do to him, and then not hear back for hours, and then we are off work and at home, and that's the end of that. I'm trying to do my best to get him SO excited during the day, that he can't wait to come home and take me to the bedroom but nothing is working! I can't even remember the last time he even told me I was pretty, and I spend time getting dolled up for him alot of the time and hear nothing. His excuse: I have to keep you on your toes... If I tell you that all the time, you'll stop believing it. I'm thinking, okay but NEVER???

Last night we had this whole plan, and something really small made it so that we didn't have sex. Today, I'm feeling depressed, and sort of angry. Actually, I feel like writing what happened because it was so stupid. We planned to have sex that night. Our roommates have been sleeping in the livingroom the last 2 nights because their mom was visiting and they gave her their room. Sometimes my daughter falls asleep on the couch watching TV as she did last night, and if we plan to have sex, I will put her to bed after (she shares a room with us for now). It was about 10pm last night when I got out of the shower, and when I was done, my boyfriend comes up saying, well they are going to bed downstairs, so we can't do anything. I said, why? He said, well they are going to bed, we have to bring (my daughter) up here. I said, they are sleeping on the floor, she is on the couch, can't I just get her after we're done? And he gave me this look like, okay whatever, and then walked into the bathroom for a shower. He made me feel like he came upstairs not wanting to at all, and wasn't willing to try and work it out.

I've talked about it with him, nothing. Tried as hard as I can to be sexy and get his attention, sometimes it works but barely. I'm SO OVER feeling like I'm not wanted. And again, its making me a bit angry, and a bit depressed.

What the HELL can I do to make him want me? I know games are never good in a relationship, but I feel a little resentment, and want him to know what it feels like on my end..

I really am coming off angry now, I know, but I'm frustrated. Any advise anyone?

I also feel I need to point out that he is a great man aside from this. We laugh, I trust him, and he does alot for me. I'm head over heels for him.... I just need this to be fixed. Willing to try anything!
27-10-11, 02:53 AM
bulrush

1. Are you guys fighting? Have you resolved the issue yet? If you are fighting, he may not be in the mood.

2. Sending him dirty pics and text is a good step, but you have to take the next step. Perhaps he is bored with starting things in the bedroom and he wants you to initiate sex. So, get some sexy underwear, and when he comes home, drag him to the bedroom, strip off his clothes, throw him on the bed and get on top of him and don't let him go.

3. Maybe he's tired. Does he work a lot?

4. Maybe he's bored. Do you do different things in the bedroom? Or use the same position.

5. Have you gained weight? Most guys don't like heavy girls. Guys are very visual, and a heavy girl just looks unhealthy.
27-10-11, 03:05 AM
am76

Quote:

Originally Posted by bulrush [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

1. Are you guys fighting? Have you resolved the issue yet? If you are fighting, he may not be in the mood.

2. Sending him dirty pics and text is a good step, but you have to take the next step. Perhaps he is bored with starting things in the bedroom and he wants you to initiate sex. So, get some sexy underwear, and when he comes home, drag him to the bedroom, strip off his clothes, throw him on the bed and get on top of him and don't let him go.

3. Maybe he's tired. Does he work a lot?

4. Maybe he's bored. Do you do different things in the bedroom? Or use the same position.

5. Have you gained weight? Most guys don't like heavy girls. Guys are very visual, and a heavy girl just looks unhealthy.

1. We have actually been doing great, just got back from an 8 day vacation back east where I met all his friends and family for the first time. Just haven't been very sexual.

2. He never initiates it. EVER. Actually I take that back, I remember him initiating it once about 3-4 months ago. I have to bring it up. If I don't he thinks I'm not in the mood. I believe I turned him down ONE time when we first were together maybe all of 2 months, and since then he wont initiate it. I've asked plenty of times.

3. We work the same hours.

4. We do the same things BASICALLY, but we mix it up sometimes. It also gets very rough sometimes and we both love it. Maybe he is bored. I'm... almost incapable of being creative. Trust me I try... I read.. I experiment, but its like its alot of research for me to try something new. I'm no good at coming up with things spontaniously, although I would LOVE to be.

5. We both have gained a little weight. I would look great if I lost 20 lbs, but I am not fat. He has gained more weight than me, but I love it on him. I don't encourage him to NOT lose weight, but I let him know that I love the way he looks now, and actually, we plan on starting up at a gym next month. He has been with girls alot bigger than me though, and never mentioned it was an issue.
27-10-11, 03:52 AM
sadie_genie

GAY. Totally gay.
27-10-11, 05:05 AM
PetiteRae

Hmmm in my experience the whole libido thing goes up and down as the relationship progresses over the years... Sometimes my man can't get enough, sometimes he doesn't bat an eyelid at the sight of me in my sexiest underwear... Same goes for me, although generally I have a higher libido then him! And the "active" or "inactive" phases can go on for months!!! I've always found it's good not to be too pushy, even if it's been a few weeks since we've had sex. It just gets annoying for him, and I feel horrible with the rejection. It's better to remain positive and the phase should run it's course. As for the cause it could be anything from stress with work, family, or all the people at home. As well it could be boredom, or maybe he's just a low libido guy.

That said though, you have your needs and he can't ignore them! Are you able to leave your little one with family and get away for a cheap weekend somewhere, to focus on him? As for experimenting there's HEAPS of things you could try. Best place to get ideas that will work? Give him a glass of wine and ask him to tell you one of his naughty fantasies.
27-10-11, 05:36 AM
am76

Quote:

Originally Posted by PetiteRae [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Hmmm in my experience the whole libido thing goes up and down as the relationship progresses over the years... Sometimes my man can't get enough, sometimes he doesn't bat an eyelid at the sight of me in my sexiest underwear... Same goes for me, although generally I have a higher libido then him! And the "active" or "inactive" phases can go on for months!!! I've always found it's good not to be too pushy, even if it's been a few weeks since we've had sex. It just gets annoying for him, and I feel horrible with the rejection. It's better to remain positive and the phase should run it's course. As for the cause it could be anything from stress with work, family, or all the people at home. As well it could be boredom, or maybe he's just a low libido guy.

That said though, you have your needs and he can't ignore them! Are you able to leave your little one with family and get away for a cheap weekend somewhere, to focus on him? As for experimenting there's HEAPS of things you could try. Best place to get ideas that will work? Give him a glass of wine and ask him to tell you one of his naughty fantasies.

Thanks for your reply :) And trust me, I've been there! He wants to see me with another girl. I would do that for him because I do enjoy girls sexually, but I don't have many girl friends, and none that I would do that sort of thing with. And.... thats all the info he will give me. We've done everything else he's wanted to do apparently...

I really do try to make things exciting and I feel that I do a decent job at it.. but maybe its not enough.

If he is going through one of those phases, how will backing off help? (genuinely seeking your advise).. I will feel lonely, but he will feel annoyed. I understand these phases as I go through them myself sometimes, but I try to always take care of him even if its just oral.

Should I just wait? Go to bed and handle myself if I'm in the mood? And just accept that when he feels like he wants me, he will eventually come on to me?