need advice the love of my life left me

we have been together for 3 years and i loved her so much we have so much in commin and i believe she is my soulmate i am 23 she is 24 her family loved me and my family loved her we talked about marriage kids owning a house together everything but like all couples we had a major setback and it was all my fault i am not looking to blame anyone else but myself i want her back but i dont know how......

we had been together for 2 years when it happened she had just moved in with me and i got scared and weak i didnt no if i was in love and i was scared to commit i left her and said i cant do this we were apart for a month and in this time i slept with someone else (the greatest and stupidest mistake i have ever made in my life) during this month i realised i had lost the girl of my dreams and done something terrible i contacted her and said i want to be back with you i love you i made a mistake in leaving you she agreed to meet up

we went out for dinner and over dinner i told her everything ( i will never lie to a person ) that happened during our time apart and that i slept with someone and i hate myself she forgave me and said as long as you have it out of your system she was ready to give it another go

from there things moved fast really fast i moved in with her 3 weeks later ( i know we should have taken it slower ) i was madly in love but i needed to repair that trust after all that happened and win her heart . we went on holidays together and did everything together but i was lazy and wasnt fully aprecciative of her everything fell in a hole 8 months after we got back together when i went with here and her whole family on a holiday things started great we were passionate had so much fun together we were on fire then 2 days before the holiday finished she went with all the girls in her family to see a spirit guide he told her everything about first break-up and what happened and we werent meant to be together straight after getting back from him she was distant i noticed and kept asking if she was ok and what i could do she said she was ok 3 days after we got back i couldnt take seeing her upset i said you have to tell me whats wrong are you ok? thats when she said i dont think i love you anymore and we need time apart......

i have never cried and thought i could cry as much as i did and i did all the wrong things i pleaded i begged wrote her love letters everything i moved out and started renting my own place she told me everything i need to fix and i agree i am doing all this to make myself a better person but i am not gonna lie i am doing it to win her back aswel she still reply's to my texts ( e.g hey how you going) she has not given me deffinite no and some of my stuff is still in house but she says at the moment she has no feeling i dont no what to do i know they say give her space but she is really tough has had a really tough upbringing and can block out emotions she has low self esteem and bottles things up so i it is good to send the odd text to show im here for her.....

her family all are spiritaul and after seeing that healer ( and my girlfriend never belived in that stuff) i feel that they whispering in her ear and i cant say or do anything to show her my commitment i was even going to propose to her and before our holiday i bought the ring what should i do she knows because i told her i am not giving up that easily and will fight for her because if you dont fight for love its not worth it what should i do go all out and propose so she can see that commitment or wait i am at a total loss :(

please help
thank you

I felt sorry for you. Both of you always have a choice. We always have a choice. Reading your story, I could see that you're truly committed to her. You have to tell her in a nice way that she don't have to take what the spirit medium said regarding your relationship seriously. You could set your own path. Just be faithful to her. CHERISH all the memories you have made together. We people make mistakes. What truly matters is that you truly love your girlfriend and the stars will not question that.

thanks it meens a lot but she is very strong headed and i think she doesnt want to try again because she is worried what will happen i hate this miss her so much

can anyone else help should i propose or wait ??

If you are looking at a marriage proposal as a solution to fix this, you are stepping into a big black hole of disappointment. You need communication, and lots of it. We don't have a magic solution to your problem. You both have to work this out on your own. Just keep the conversation honest, and learn to compromise. I suggest couples counseling before even considering marriage.