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I am just a quiet person.
I read a lot, follow the news, am smart, but I just don't engage in much conversation most of the time.
I can respond to conversation of the other person, but I dont initiate much.
Dates end up having a lot of silence.
Am I suppose to find a girl that likes quiet guys?
well if you arrange dates that entail a lot of talking, whose fault should it be? no one is supposed to make you concessions unless they know you well and appreciate who you are. have you tried something as obvious as cinema? at least there will be a subject for conversation, all you'll have to do is ask what she thought and throw in a few uh-huhs.Quote:
Originally Posted by Phoenix23 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Fake it till you make it. Learn the art of small talk. Talk about your hobbies and hers, interests, fun things you've done in the past. Tell funny stories of stuff you or relatives or friends have done. Stuff like that. You have to talk or she'll think you're a serial killer or something. :)
There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a quiet person. Be yourself. Be who you are. However, if you are "quiet" in the sense that you avoid people because you are afraid to talk to them, you may need to seek some counseling to help yourself in social situations a bit more. But never think there is something wrong with you because you tend to be quiet. It's better to be a quiet person than one of those annoying blabbermouths who never stops talking & does a lot more talking than thinking. Those kinds of people usually don't have much smarts. You have smarts. One key to good conversation is to ask a lot of questions of the other person. People love to answer questions about themselves. Think of a lot of different things you could ask your date and commit them to memory. Such as, Where did you grow up? What's your most favorite childhood memory? What is your favorite thing to do? How long have you been doing this hobby? What does this hobby entail? Can you tell me how you go about this hobby? What was your favorite vacation? Where have you always wanted to visit but never been to? If you could meet anyone on Earth, who would it be and why? What is your favorite movie/book/music? And so forth. Practice asking questions of people until it comes naturally. Make it fun. This is the perfect way for quiet people to get successful in conversations.
^^ I disagree. It's much harder to get that second date if you are a quiet person. I used to be that quiet shy person. Now I'm not. I didn't get many dates until I changed. Now I get lots of dates. It's hard to connect with people if they are quiet, that's all. So they don't want a second date.
Part of it is that I'm shy.
But part of it is also that I am not the type to strike conversation for the sake of conversation even if I'm not shy with the person I'm with.
Unless it's something I really do want to know, or a topic I really do want to talk about, my mind would rather think about something else or just go blank. Maybe that makes me kind of selfish or something, but I don't like feeling like I need to fake conversations or interest.
I suppose that by asking a lot of questions we might stumble on an interesting conversation, maybe that's the way I should look at it. You never know what direction a conversation will turn.
There are extroverts and then there are introverts. There are those who are loud and those who are quiet. Be you. Nothing wrong with that. I would suggest trying to meet women online. When you are behind a computer screen, it takes away most of that anxiety. Try talking online first and get to know each other there...then it may be easier interacting in person after a while of getting to know each other through a computer screen.
1. Talk about what you like. People are often attracted to the unusual or quirky. I like my dates to be a bit quirky because that shows they have confidence to be themselves. But I would find it hard to be with a quiet person, even though I used to be just like that. I just want to connect with them via conversation.
2. Or find a quiet person to date who enjoys silent contemplation.