Girlfriend didn't tell me she was going to a party?

As the title says, I rang her up last night (half nine) as I had forgot to reply back to her text, and she out-of-character hadn't tried to contact me. Thus I checked to see if everything is alright; I hear music in the background (assumed she was out somewhere) inquired as to where she was, she told me she was at a party. Bearing in mind she hadn't mentioned it all week, and (I think) this was supposedly the postponed party from which had been cancelled last Friday evening.

I ended up hanging-up as she sounded guilty and I don't like it when I hear that tone of voice as it almost implies she's done something wrong. I felt hurt for some reason, almost as though she had lied to me. I shortly went to bed afterwards since I was pretty angry for some reason. I woke up now to find no calls/texts. It feels as though she doesn't care.

We normally see each other today for a few hours which is a rarity in itself, because we attend different college and her parents are quite manipulative. She also says how she misses me throughout the week that she wishes I was there, yet doesn't initiate anything? I don't understand her unfulfilled promises.

I really don't want to see her today, as I feel like sloppy-seconds. Almost feel like breaking-up with her as I hate the 'hurt' feeling, since it turns me into an irrational wreck. This may sound a bit extreme, but I hate the feeling with a passion.

By the way, I usually don't mention this stuff to her, and when I have it hasn't made a difference. I also don't understand 'partying', I find it to be a bore and waste of cash. But I just can't comprehend the thrill behind partying - other than to slowly kill your liver and become a whore.

Am I the problem? I wasn't aggressive towards her when I rang, if anything, I just left her to it.

This will end badly - you're at different colleges, she likes parties, you don't. Her parents don't want her to have a boyfriend/don't like you.... It's got diaster all over it!

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Originally Posted by steviej [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

This will end badly - you're at different colleges, she likes parties, you don't. Her parents don't want her to have a boyfriend/don't like you.... It's got diaster all over it!

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Haha, wise words of wisdom.

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Originally Posted by windir [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

As the title says, I rang her up last night (half nine) as I had forgot to reply back to her text

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I guess you expect her to wait around for you and keep texting you non-stop until you remember? Perhaps if you had remembered to return her text, she would have told you where she was going.

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she hadn't tried to contact me.

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Yes she did but you "forgot" to call her back.

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Thus I checked to see if everything is alright; I hear music in the background (assumed she was out somewhere) inquired as to where she was, she told me she was at a party.

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So she didn't hesitate to tell you the truth so she obviously did not feel guilty. She has no reason to feel guilty for going to a party.

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Bearing in mind she hadn't mentioned it all week, and (I think) this was supposedly the postponed party from which had been cancelled last Friday evening.

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So you don't actually know if it's the same party or another party that she decided to go to. Why wouldn't you just clarify that instead of all this assumption and conjecture you're conjuring up to fit your own paranoia?

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I ended up hanging-up as she sounded guilty and I don't like it when I hear that tone of voice as it almost implies she's done something wrong. I felt hurt for some reason, almost as though she had lied to me. I shortly went to bed afterwards since I was pretty angry for some reason. I woke up now to find no calls/texts. It feels as though she doesn't care.

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You're an immature little boy and for her sake It would be in her best interests if she doesn't ever call you back again. You need to grow up or at the very least get a girlfriend that you can keep your controlling eyes on so that you don't put your paranoid thoughts onto her. "She sounded guilty" "almost as if she lied to me" You cause your own angst and insecurity. You "feel as though she doesn't care." Well, I'm sorry but you act like you don't care with your jealousy and trying to make her feel guilty. YOU project your fear and jealousy onto her when all she did (from your account) was go to a party.

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We normally see each other today for a few hours which is a rarity in itself, because we attend different college and her parents are quite manipulative. She also says how she misses me throughout the week that she wishes I was there, yet doesn't initiate anything? I don't understand her unfulfilled promises.

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What promises? You did not mention any promises that she's made to you. You, like her parents are also quite manipulative, at least you try to be but it sounds like she's not allowing you to be. If you don't trust her so much then break up with her but don't expect her to cater to your insecurity, jealousy and fear of abandonment.

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I really don't want to see her today,

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I have a feeling she's feeling the same way about you.

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as I feel like sloppy-seconds.

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Grow up, sir.

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Almost feel like breaking-up with her as I hate the 'hurt' feeling, since it turns me into an irrational wreck. This may sound a bit extreme, but I hate the feeling with a passion.

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Then I suggest you do break up with her and give up dating for a while until you work on your own issues of insecurity and fear of abandonment. You need someone who does nothing but text you (even if you forget to text her back) and sits at home waiting for you to tell her what she is allowed to do.

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By the way, I usually don't mention this stuff to her, and when I have it hasn't made a difference. I also don't understand 'partying', I find it to be a bore and waste of cash.

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To top off everything else that is wrong with your union ~ You are incompatible in what is and isn't fun. How long do you think she will be happy sitting around like you like to do.. doing nothing.

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But I just can't comprehend the thrill behind partying - other than to slwly kill your liver and become a whore.

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lmao...

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Am I the problem?

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Most definately, please look into counceling to help you with your issues.

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I wasn't aggressive towards her when I rang, if anything, I just left her to it.

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Well, you may not have been aggressive but you certainly were childish, manipulative, rude, passive aggressive and indifferent to her when she text you and you "forgot" to text her back. She's just not texting you at all now and you're crying into your pillow.

Did you make this whole story up? Surely you did as it's hard to believe that you can't understand why she's not texting you. Do you really think she wants to hear more of the same from you?

At 40, been married with kids, I can assure you young man, Killing my liver and being a whore is what lifes all about! :)

You get the Pussy Of The Year Award! Congrats !

You obviously have trust issues if this bothers you so much and if you think she sounded guilty.

You hung up on her and she was out at a party, what did you expect her to do, keep phoning and texting you when you had made it clear that you didn't want to talk by hanging up!

I don't understand the hurt feeling you have. Does it not occur to you that she is probably feeling hurt that you forgot to reply to her text and then you hung up on her when you did remember to get in touch.

Yes you are the problem. This relationship is not going to work.

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Originally Posted by windir [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

As the title says, I rang her up last night (half nine) as I had forgot to reply back to her text, and she out-of-character hadn't tried to contact me. Thus I checked to see if everything is alright; I hear music in the background (assumed she was out somewhere) inquired as to where she was, she told me she was at a party. Bearing in mind she hadn't mentioned it all week, and (I think) this was supposedly the postponed party from which had been cancelled last Friday evening.

I ended up hanging-up as she sounded guilty and I don't like it when I hear that tone of voice as it almost implies she's done something wrong. I felt hurt for some reason, almost as though she had lied to me. I shortly went to bed afterwards since I was pretty angry for some reason. I woke up now to find no calls/texts. It feels as though she doesn't care.

We normally see each other today for a few hours which is a rarity in itself, because we attend different college and her parents are quite manipulative. She also says how she misses me throughout the week that she wishes I was there, yet doesn't initiate anything? I don't understand her unfulfilled promises.

I really don't want to see her today, as I feel like sloppy-seconds. Almost feel like breaking-up with her as I hate the 'hurt' feeling, since it turns me into an irrational wreck. This may sound a bit extreme, but I hate the feeling with a passion.

By the way, I usually don't mention this stuff to her, and when I have it hasn't made a difference. I also don't understand 'partying', I find it to be a bore and waste of cash. But I just can't comprehend the thrill behind partying - other than to slowly kill your liver and become a whore.

Am I the problem? I wasn't aggressive towards her when I rang, if anything, I just left her to it.

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Sounds like my last relationship. And I am single now.

You don't feel comfortable. And appearantely she does not either, otherwise she would have told you about it or asked you to come with her.

While other postesrs make good points, don't get too hang up on those, it will only make you feel guilty when it is over, and it ends anyway I can assure you. The problem:

Attention. She wants it, and you, as a man do not want to give enough attention, bechause this may make you look and feel like some desparate dick. This is a problem of many men, we hate that feeling.

Men want to feel needed as pathetic as it sounds.

We do like, respect, even love independent women, we just dont often choose to be with them because they are independent enough not to need us. She was not independent, but she thinks she is and relationship probably ends with one of you saying "I want to be independent".

Damn issues.

Oh, and I also do not understand what is so interesting about parties. I've been in parties, and never has there come any good out of them.

Thanks for the pointers, most of what you've said is true.

Although I feel as though Wakeup is misinterpreting what I'm saying to an extent, but hey, thanks for the constructive criticism.

This is a load of fuss about absolutely nothing.
Have a drink and calm down a bit.

dude its simple... she wants u...but wants u to initiate it, look she is giving the hints (she might be shy)... she might not have told u abt the party coz u dont like parties...