Feeling like I'm the star of my own soap opera...
I've been with my current boyfriend for almost three years now. He is an extremely sweet guy who has supported me and helped me work through a lot of my problems. He has always been there for me and has fought diligently to keep this relationship afloat when I've had my doubts about where things are going between us. We've discussed marriage and kids and starting a life together.
There is one major problem though. He's a gamer. I, personally, find nothing appealing about RP, video, online or any of these sorts of games. When I first met him, he would get together twice a week to play D&D with his buddies. When we started getting serious, he cut it down to just once a week. A few months ago, the group bumped the meetings back up to twice a week. I was okay with this initially because it fell on a day when we couldn't see each other anyway. But after awhile, I started to feel insecure about his relationship with all of them. I felt as if I was taking a back seat to his gaming and gaming friends, but he assured me that I was the most important thing in his life and always would be. I felt mixed emotions about it for awhile but eventually, things smoothed themselves out.
Some events have taken place recently which led them to having to switch their second meeting day again. The final decision was to move their second weekly get-together to Friday nights. Friday nights were typically our night to go out. I was hurt by his decision to hang out with them as opposed to me. This also cut down from seeing each other 4 days a week to 3. As stated above, he tells me that I'm more important than D&D, but I don't believe his actions indicate this. Not in the least.
He realized how upset I was and tried to come up with a compromise. We agreed to meet each other for breakfast this past Wednesday morning. Unfortunately, he set his phone alarm to vibrate and he didn't get up in time for this to happen. I was disappointed but I tried to brush it off and stay positive. But by the time Friday rolled around, I was extremely depressed, Friday being a reminder of the fact that I wouldn't be seeing him because he would be out enjoying himself with his friends rather than me. I tried to let him know how I felt via text but he said he couldn't deal with the problem at the moment since he himself was stressed out. So, I decided to hold my tongue.
It's now Saturday and I haven't heard from him yet. I thought he would have at least text me since he knew I was upset last night, but no such luck. I'm reaching the end of my rope with this gaming fixation of his. I've tried to soldier on but this situation is making me absolutely miserable.
The problem is also exacerbated by a friend of mine that I've known for over a year now. He has admitted to having a crush on me and, to be honest, the feeling is mutual. He even went so far as to recently tell me that he's remaining single because he's waiting for me. I don't know if the fact that he hasn't found anyone yet is circumstantial or if he really is telling the truth, but it touched a chord with me. Amidst all the turmoil of my mind, I even had a dream about him last night where we were play fighting and he began kissing me on my neck... and I didn't stop him. He's an attractive, out-going, charismatic young man, and I also have way more in common with him than I do with my boyfriend (which is practically nothing).
I'm at a complete loss. I feel like this is tearing me apart. I have major issues with a fear of being insignificant and unimportant to those I care about, and this situation is really starting to stress me out. I don't know what to do. Do I break up with my boyfriend or continue to feel miserable and helpless about this situation? If I decide to stay, how do I address these problems? Do I seek counseling for these issues I have? Is my friendship with this other guy secretly sabotaging the relationship I have with my boyfriend?
Any helpful advice anyone can offer would be greatly appreciated. Please help.
