A lost girl need to find back herself!!!!

I used to be a cheerful & babbly girl.... who can talk non stop & cheer others when they are down. BUT!!!!! Now she is lost!!! she is with a married man & this married man has another girlfriend... aia know this not by him leaking any loophole, is he admitted on ! of our dating...

When we are together we are just like scandal no commitment is all about fun!!! he has wife & i have a boyfriend.... when he admitted to me that she has a girlfriend i already fall in love with him... so at that time i tell him: SO LONG YOU LOVE ME NOTHING IS IMPORTANT!!!!


When thing get serious, i no longer honour my words to him, i ask him to leave his girlfiend... I reall cannot share my love with someone else anymore.... but he keep dragging & he even tell me once he settle his dirvorcy he will settle with his gf!!!! its really hurts & dissappointment. Seems that wife is more impt than his gf....

A man who is going thru divorce, no matter how sad he is, is it that he shld keep the most important girl by his side to walk thru all this period, he is holding 2 woman to go thru with him & is he choosing who is the right woman for him.... is he selfish?

I know he no longer love his wife & already sleep seperate room for a abt 2 years, so i not very particular with his divorcy, & i also felt that dirvorcy is not a thing to rush!!!! but if he kept saying he love me, than why is he still holding tight ob the other relationship?

When we get to know a pretty girl due to our company dinner, she is the hotel organiser, they will flirting each other by saying some nice & sweet word like 'DARLING" to please the organiser, not 1 time over the phone infront of me.... most best thing is he even flirt with her straight infront of my face that" they are sweetly talking to each other as if i am transparent... i don't blame the girl as our relationship is not being expose. i even found out that my bf even find her for breafast at hotel few time without me..... The best part is the girl told me that my bf seem to be wooing her!!! i was super duper dussapponited... he told me is due to work, for better negotiation he has to pleased her!!!

Recently i found i am pregnant, he is not approve of giving birth, but i insist becoz a child to me is a fate that will never be discounted between husband & wife, even though divorce both paty will still be in each other life becoz of the kids.... I want this disconnected fate!!!! i love him, really love him.... I TELL HIM IF I AM THE ONE YOU WAANA BE WITH END OF THE DAY WE WILL DEFINETLY BE TOGETHER, WHY WANNA SACRIFIES THE BABY NOW JUST BECO HE COME AT THE WRONG TIME??? BY END OF THE DAY THE BABY WILL NOT BE WITHOUT FATHER!!!!

When we are discussing & argue about this matter.... I cry i depressed, he mange to cool me down but after afew hours, when I feel better we talk sweetly at each other, i accidentally press on his ear pierce it redial back to his gf number without our notice..... when he saw the recent call list, he was shock & lost dunno wether his gf has heard our conversation.... he dare not call back but he choose to leave me alone at home & went home straight just to prevent his gf going over his house to see if his car is parked at registered carpark at his residence. I will real dissappoint & call him to tell him I WILL DO THE ABORTION!!! I am very dissappointed & hurt.... I felt that i shkdnt be stupid to keep the baby & force this realtionship to be together!!!

Few months ago he told me, he broke off with his gf.... but i really strongly don't believe every word he say, I always will feel that he will do things behind my back although up till now i didnt spot on any amiss but its my feel towards him.... I HAVE NO TRUST FOR HIM ANYMORE!!!!

I am always felt emo & he really affect my lifestyle that i have depression syndrome.... I no longer laugh alot, i no longer talk non stop... most of the time is unhappiness of wether will he cheat on me & shld i trust him!!!

I REALLY NEED ADVISE!!!! IF HE REALLY BREAK OFF WITH HIS GF BECOZ OF ME, IF I LET GO IS IT FAIR TO HIM? I CANT TRUST HIM TO BE FAITHFUL BUT I TRUST HIM THAT HE REALLY DOTE & LOVE ME>>>>