Just to vent~~~

Hello all,

I don't know if my heard is broken or what. I just feel so sad about the whole thing.

I met this guy 4 yrs ago. It was fun at the beginning. He married before but his wife passed away. From the things he told me, I sensed that his marriage wasn't a pleasant one. But as his wife is no longer here, I didn't ask much about the details. He mentioned that he doesn't want to get married and I told him that I eventually might want to. Anyway, we talked about that, but no conclusion.

The relationship got a bit rocky in the last year. He has temper. He is lazy, he smokes too much pot. I broke up with him a couple times, but i went back to him coz he said he'd changed. well.. did he? of course no. :lol:

Something happened in July that triggered the final break up. I called it off and he wanted me back. this time I was firm. I decided that we could be back but it would be at least a 6 months wait to really see if he changed or not. I wasn't happy tho coz I broke someone's heart and I think my guilt made me sad the whole time.

Funny thing started to happen one week after. He got laid off. He's not the type that likes to be employed. He worked in importing. When he was with me, he always said if it wasn't me, he would move to Asia. So he decided to go there and see from there. At this point, I realized there really might be something higher. Our break up happened for a reason. His laid off also happened for a reason. We are two different kind of people. God is sending a message to us that we were not meant to be.

We kept contacting each other. In Oct, he went to Asia for two weeks. I even went to the airport to pick him up when he came back. Since then, he been not as 'friendly' as before. I thought we finally got adjusted to 'friends' stage smoothly.

Early Nov, he emailed me saying he wants to explain something to me. days after, he changed his status on facebook 'Engaged.' "What the fxxk?" was the first thing i had in my mind. How could you do that just 4 months after the break up? My friends asked me if i was so sure that he wasn't cheating on me!!! Then I knew that's what he wanted to explain to me. But so far, i heard nothing about his engagement yet.

after that, we only have couple emails to arrange me taking over some of his stuffs after he moved to Asia. He is selling his house. He's leaving early Dec. He got himself a one way ticket. I asked whether he'd come back or not. Still waiting for his response.

That's my vent. Don't get me wrong. I don't want him back. I just didn't expect things would be that dramatic in only 5 months. He was once so important to me and now I'm not going to see him again. Things have changed way too fast for me to handle. For me, after the break up, I just got too much time on my hand. I started to cook a lot. Cooking has become my new hobby. In retrospect, I could have done more in our relationship. He was a bad lover, but I wasn't a very good one either.

If you happen to read this. I wish you all the best. Good luck on your business and new relationship. Be careful when you're there. Don't trust them easily. You're a white guy and you don't know their culture yet. They take advantage of you. You also need to take care of your friend. He's a naive guy. So you gotta be a tough one. I know that you could make a lot of money by teaching english to those rich kids. I know you can do better than that. You can build a better business to fight with your former employer. Anyway, I know you will be having so much fun. I'll miss you and I'll always cherish the time we had.