How long after her brake up until I ask her out?

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01-12-11, 11:50 AM
all alone

How long after her brake up until I ask her out?

Well I am currently interested in someone who has a bf. At first I simply thought to myself, whatever forget about it. Later however i received on very good authority that her and the bf have been on the rocks already for a few weeks and 'she could be single sooner then you think'.

Now i don't talk to her on a regular basis, know her through mutual friends and have met 4-5 times and i'm pretty sure she would go out for coffee with me if I were to ask her. Now question is, if she does break up with douche bag, how long is a respectful amount of time to wait before asking her out? They have been together for about 4 or 5 months, but as I mentioned earlier, she seems to already be prepping for the breaking up with him and mentally already started to move on as well perhaps?..

So what would be a good amount of time to wait?.. obviously im not going to call her up the minute i find out, but how long, 2 weeks perhaps? Just wondering what people have to say?
02-12-11, 02:44 AM
miss90

I'd say don't focus so much on asking her out, but focus more on getting to know her more. Forming a type of friendship first will make the relationship if there becomes one much better. And she will need her own space and time to gather her thoughts if her current relationship does fail. So get to know her, be a good friend, and if it's meant to be it'll happen. Just don't be the re-bound or you will only get hurt.

Best of luck! :)
02-12-11, 11:55 AM
all alone

Quote:

Originally Posted by miss90 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I'd say don't focus so much on asking her out, but focus more on getting to know her more. Forming a type of friendship first will make the relationship if there becomes one much better. And she will need her own space and time to gather her thoughts if her current relationship does fail. So get to know her, be a good friend, and if it's meant to be it'll happen. Just don't be the re-bound or you will only get hurt.

Best of luck! :)

yeah i definitely see your rebound point.. however i'm not going to friend zone myself, i've been down that path before and i'll gladly stay away from it. Good imput though, thanks. I don't disagree with your bit about friendship either, just i want to stay away from the friend zone like the plague, lol.
02-12-11, 05:15 PM
surfhb

Quote:

Originally Posted by all alone [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

yeah i definitely see your rebound point.. however i'm not going to friend zone myself, i've been down that path before and i'll gladly stay away from it. Good imput though, thanks. I don't disagree with your bit about friendship either, just i want to stay away from the friend zone like the plague, lol.

Whats wrong with being this girls friend for now? Maybe it will change later on....in fact this is your only shot, sorry to say. Maybe she has some good looking friends you might meet?

Only time to refuse "The Friend Zone" is with someone youve had a long, emotionally involved relationship with. Where the pain would be too much. Never turn down a potential friendship just because she doesnt want to date you....thats makes no sense and is a little arrogant and ass holinness! :)
06-12-11, 12:18 PM
all alone

Quote:

Originally Posted by surfhb [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Whats wrong with being this girls friend for now? Maybe it will change later on....in fact this is your only shot, sorry to say. Maybe she has some good looking friends you might meet?

Only time to refuse "The Friend Zone" is with someone youve had a long, emotionally involved relationship with. Where the pain would be too much. Never turn down a potential friendship just because she doesnt want to date you....thats makes no sense and is a little arrogant and ass holinness! :)

Don't get me wrong, i'll still be friendly with her, lol.. just im not going to go out of my way to hang out with her or anything. We have one common friend and our path's cross every so often and thats fine. Just I am not going to push it anymore then that.
06-12-11, 01:18 PM
surfhb

Quote:

Originally Posted by all alone [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Don't get me wrong, i'll still be friendly with her, lol.. just im not going to go out of my way to hang out with her or anything. We have one common friend and our path's cross every so often and thats fine. Just I am not going to push it anymore then that.

Why not? Go out and scam on other women and see what happens....I think you might have fun

But this is all a stupid, hypothetical conversation since you haven't even asked her out yet :)
06-12-11, 03:11 PM
MerryH

Quote:

Originally Posted by all alone [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

yeah i definitely see your rebound point.. however i'm not going to friend zone myself, i've been down that path before and i'll gladly stay away from it. Good imput though, thanks. I don't disagree with your bit about friendship either, just i want to stay away from the friend zone like the plague, lol.

I think it's great that you want to be straightforward and pursue her honestly, instead of pretending to her her best buddy while you secretly obsess over her. That would be a deceptive friendship, and that's not what she needs right now.

Waiting two weeks is probably a fair amount of time. A month might be better. It's just coffee, though, yeah? You're not going to be professing your love for her or anything, so just have coffee and see where it goes from there.