Confused and Depressed

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24-02-05, 11:22 PM
TwistedMe

Confused and Depressed

Hey all,

Ive been seeing a girl for a few months now, on and off. At first she was really cautious, saying that she didnt know what she really "wanted". She wanted us to get to know each other better before jumping into anything. Now things have moved on a little, we kiss and do the whole cosying on the sofa thing.

My problem is that Im not sure that I want to see her anymore. I dont feel anything when we kiss and I dont really look forward to seeing her as muhc as I probably should. Its got me feeling confused, because I had been chasing her. Its also leaving me feeling depressed and guilty because I dont want to reject and possibly hurt her if she has any feelings for me.

My last two relationships had ended because I didnt feel the same anymore. It seems like Im incapable of being with someone.

This has been really getting me down for a few weeks now and I feel like Ive lead her on a bit recently, whilst trying to get my own thoughts straight. Ive pulled a few sickies at work because of how low Ive been feeling. I havent mentioned any of this to her.

Thanks for taking the time to read this!

TwistedMe
24-02-05, 11:25 PM
Laguna

No, your just getting around and I feel like your trying to find the person you want to be with in a serious/long relationship. Just end it if you have no feelings before it gets worse, don't lead her on, cause it will hurt less now for her. Just keep searching for a new girl. You don't always have to continue a relationship for the girl's sake. BEtter to end when you have no feelings and it's fresh then to let it play on.
24-02-05, 11:33 PM
TwistedMe

Quote:

Originally Posted by Laguna

No, your just getting around and I feel like your trying to find the person you want to be with in a serious/long relationship. Just end it if you have no feelings before it gets worse, don't lead her on, cause it will hurt less now for her. Just keep searching for a new girl. You don't always have to continue a relationship for the girl's sake. BEtter to end when you have no feelings and it's fresh then to let it play on.

Thanks fo the reply Laguna. I guess I know the answer but dont want to admit it to myself. Shes also a friend of one of my friends, so I dont like the idea of feeling awkward when bumping into her socially.

Hmmm, these things are always going to be difficult. Now Ive just gotta work out how and when to go about telling her. Last time we met the ball was in my court so its down to me to contact her. Cant say im looking forward to it.
24-02-05, 11:33 PM
Chlorine

Twistedme----You mentioned that you felt confused, as you had been chasing her.

Sometimes half the thrill is in the chase. She may be a nice girl, but maybe not the right one for you. You can't force feelings so go easy on yourself.
24-02-05, 11:41 PM
TwistedMe

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chlorine

Twistedme----You mentioned that you felt confused, as you had been chasing her.

Sometimes half the thrill is in the chase. She may be a nice girl, but maybe not the right one for you. You can't force feelings so go easy on yourself.

Yeah, I guess Ive been tearing myself up trying to do just that. Thanks for the advice, sometimes you need to hear these things from someone else to realise what youve been trying to tell yourself!
25-02-05, 06:02 AM
afrosmile

on your next chase try to make sure it not just another lust. it might not be love either but if you keep rushing in you may never find out.
25-02-05, 08:33 PM
TwistedMe

Quote:

Originally Posted by afrosmile

on your next chase try to make sure it not just another lust. it might not be love either but if you keep rushing in you may never find out.

Ill see what I can do, though I thought love had to start somewhere.
25-02-05, 09:40 PM
Chlorine

Twistedme----Everything has got to start somewhere and there were times when I thought I was in luuuvvv. However, forcing the issue just prolonged the agony. We just weren't compatible. There was no spark, no zing, no nothing. We didn't talk to each other for 6 weeks after that. However, we are 'friends' now. Very polite friends. Heh heh.....

So, have you sat down with your girl to have one of those "We need to talk..." conversations? Or are you willing to hang in there for awhile?
25-02-05, 09:53 PM
TwistedMe

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chlorine

Twistedme----Everything has got to start somewhere and there were times when I thought I was in luuuvvv. However, forcing the issue just prolonged the agony. We just weren't compatible. There was no spark, no zing, no nothing. We didn't talk to each other for 6 weeks after that. However, we are 'friends' now. Very polite friends. Heh heh.....

So, have you sat down with your girl to have one of those "We need to talk..." conversations? Or are you willing to hang in there for awhile?

I havent spoken to her since Tuesday now. I didnt want to suggest getting together for a "We need to talk" conversation just before the weekend. I figured itd be playing on her mind all weekend.

Im still feeling a little confused I must say, but I think Ive been hanging in there for too long now. She is a nice person and I find her attractive but I dont think were right for each other. Its definately a "no spark" thing going on, its just hard to stop myself thinking that maybe Ill regret the decision.