im crying my lungs out for her tonight...

(now im 18 and shes 17 if that helps) see the thing is shes been a friend of the family for many years because she used to go to school with my brother and she lives like half a mile away. i used to think she was annoying because she came over soo much but in 2009 (i was 15) i fell for her harder than anyone or anything before.

since we gotten to know each other we started talking ALOT and for awhile we would sneak out and sit on her trampoline and talk, she would always be with me even though she was way more popular than me (everyone said she was just living off of me but that wasnt true, we were very close) and she always called me her brother which i liked. at times we would even fall asleep together after playing call of duty 4 or tv.

well she eventually got more and more friends so we talked less and less and now shes in a real relationship, i havent talked to her in well over 8 months and i used to try to text her sometimes but she wouldnt talk much. around christmas of last year i briefly and abruptly told her i liked her and i made it akward, but i later found out it wasnt and she was taken back, she also had a tear in her eye when i told her that was real so i felt warm inside.

this year has been rough because for a while i tried to avoid her because i was just angry at life, my parents gave me depression pills because i agreed to see a therapist which both didnt really help.

today i just broke down, i sat in my room for the past hours and been crying, listening to old music and looking at photos on the internet (myspace this time).

im just sick of life because shes all i want in my life, ive always been shy on the inside even though alot of people say im tough on the inside, when im just sitting in my room crying, HOW CAN I turn my life around because BELIEVE ME i tried everything i can and talked to alot of people!!! i tried being with other girls and making friends but im literally almost socially isolated now. i also strongly regret not taking the chances i had with her...

Awww... young man, I'm so sorry. I know it hurts, especially the first time.

All I can do is offer some opinions and advice:

It gets better, I promise. You WILL get over her, and someday you WILL find the perfect (for you) woman. Don't give up.

Don't let yourself get friend-zoned with a girl/woman you're interested in... once you're friend-zoned you'll never get out.

Don't let yourself get so calloused that you get numb, either. Being unable to feel isn't better than not feeling the hurt, in the long run. Being unable to feel eventually makes you just... give up. Being dead inside sucks, trust me on this - I know.

Hang in there.

Yep, I was in your shoes at your age. I had depression but I didn't know it. I know it's hard, but you have to get over it and find someone else. There will be other people you will like, but they will be hard to find, so don't give up.

Crying will actually help you, but don't get stuck in an infinite loop of crying. Crying releases stress, and when you feel better, pick yourself up and find another girl. It takes a real man with confidence to cry in public. Give yourself time to get over her. Try to do things you like. If you like heavy metal music, listen to that.

Not all meds will work for all people, and you might have to try 4 or 5 before you get the right meds. Depression is not your fault, it's a chemical imbalance. You can't cause it, and you can't think it away. You can't think positive to get rid of high blood pressure or cancer either, you need medical treatment. So go to the therapist, stick with it, and give each drug 4-6 weeks before deciding if it works or not. Yes, it takes that long for best effectiveness.

The first break ups are the hardest, but it gets a little easier. So do not despair. You have talents the world needs. But it is your job to find and share them.