need a womans point of view pretty please

So my ex girlfriend of two years and we have a child left me right before thanksgiving because of my drunknes my anger my laziness worthlessness i mean the list could go on. So i gave her space and left for a month in a half we still talked cuz of the kid mainly. So now i've come back for christmas before i have to leave and go to our old house in another state and make money to take care of our child. She see's the changes i've made and gets upset and mad even crying telling me why could i have not done this sooner she says it's over that she isn't in love with me anymore she just loves me and wants to be friends and thats not all she has been seeing my best friend since i left and they have feelings for each other and she keeps telling me this over and over how happy she is, and that my friend wants to still be my friend. WTF i know i deserve this but really... Is there still a chance, is she maybe playing mind games with me or somthing I'm confused I told her i'm not gonna be my friends friend ever again, but that i didn't blame her for leaving... Is wrong of me to think i still have a chance with her if i keep makeing changes. I don't drink anymore and have shown her that she still does and when she comes over to hotel the past two nights she brings beer and asks me to drink with her to which i say no. What Do I Do... She thinks that if she leaves with me and comes back to me that i will go back to my normal ways which i don't blame her cuz i've tried before and failed within a week each time but i've been doing good for a month in a half and she has only seen this for 3-4 days now what can i do to prove to her before i leave that i'm not gonna fall back this time I really love this woman and my child.. I'm 30 yearsold and have never had a serious relationship let alone wanted one what can i do here I'm so confused it seems like the more probelms i show her i've fixed the more pissed she gets one night she cried saying what was i not good enough for you and i told her you were and so was our child i just have probelms that i needed to work on we lived to together with friends always staying or visiting drinking and it was hard to get away from all that but she dosn't think i'll really change or that she can be in love with me anymore What is going on here I NEED ADVICE PLEASE and i don't think she is jealous
I'm not going to drink... it's just hard because i know it'll take the pain away...but i'm not going to do it

Well, as you can see farmerpat your girlfriend suffered a lot from your drunkenness, anger, laziness, etc when you were together that's why after a few months when you've realize your mistakes and started to change she was having a hard time believing and accepting it. And since you've hurt hurt before and she's just starting to heal from the emotional wounds that you've cause her then I think you should give her time.Time for herself. Be contented with just being friends for now. Show her in a a sincere way that you've change for good. No one can change overnight you know. Change is a step by step process and it takes time. Change for the better first and foremost for yourself then for her and your child. be a better person day by day and eventually in a few months or more she'll realize that you've change and she'll be more accepting of you. If she'll still accept you after you've totally change then that's good and if not well, there are so many women out there with who can benefit from the love of a change man like you. As for your friend, your wife needed a shoulder to cry on during the time that she was suffering emotionally from your relationship and it just so happen that he was there for her. Maybe she just mistook his goodness and kindness for love. Anyway, i hope you'll succeed with changing for the better and making yourself worthy of her love and don't ever give up hope. After all love can heal so many wounds.

You can't change over night nor even after a few months....the temptation to drink will always be there. I suggest you seek out group counseling...like AA or something similar. You have a long road to making improvements in your life and improving yourself as a person. Time to step away from wanting a relationship, and take care of business first. be a good dad and get your life on track. But not all this is your fault. She offers beer to you, she needs to give her head a shake. She needs some growing up to do as well, and learn to communicate just as much as you do.

Admitting your weaknesses is the first step to fixing them. You're on the right track, keep going. Fix yourself before trying to get back with your girlfriend.