man with a lot of female friends?

so im in a new relationship only about a month old, im also moving in with a very colse female friend i used to be after, me and my girlfriend talked about it shes not completely comfortable with it but she feels the pros out way the cons so its delt with for the moment. Last week we went to one of my old hangouts, a hookah lounge where i know every one, she met a couple of my friends, but was very surprised at the number of wemon that demanded hugs from me. In the moment i didnt think much of it but after a sat back down, she shoots this glare at me. I did my best to assure her that nothings happeded between me and any of them and nothing will. Girls does it bother you when your man has a lopt of female friends?

yes. Especially if they're better looking than us! But if your a good boyfriend, it shouldn't matter :)

This girl sounds insecure. You can expect more drama from her. Is the sex really worth it?

And, well, some people are more secure than others. Just sayin.

There's a reason why I butted in here and mentioned the insecurity issue. Because it affects MANY more aspects of your relationship then you might realize.

10 or so very attractive wemon streight out demanded i get up to hug them, plus its new she trusts me but there isnt really that much to back up that trust

Often a sign the guy is an attention whore. If you don't set boundaries, she should dump you. Same for a gal with tons of guy friends. Just saying.

If there is trust it doesn't bother me. I just remind myself my guy is with me and not them.

Also I think it is an age thing. When I was in a relationship when I was younger I hated my BF having female friends. Now, it doesn't bother me one bit. Difference is I was insecure back then but I am secure now.

Its not just about being secure, tho. Its about respect. If I was seriously seeing a guy and he kept an active 'little black facebook', I'd be moving on.

The key is 'seriously', tho. In early dating days, its caveat emptor.

I think age has a lot to do with it. Do women in their 30's or 40's 'straight up demand hugs' from a guy when he walks in the room? Not where I am from...

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Originally Posted by IndiReloaded [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Often a sign the guy is an attention whore. If you don't set boundaries, she should dump you. Same for a gal with tons of guy friends. Just saying.

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Im a pretty shy guy, It actually just kind of happened, i used to be there almost every night, i worked there, and all the regulars and employees used to party all weekend every weekend starting thursday
we're both 20 by the way, and everyone there is in there 20's

Okay, so you aren't an attention whore. Just young. But, if you stay together, be warned: other chicks hanging around is going to, rightly, piss off your girl no matter how secure she is.

As far as my boyfriend having friends who are girls, at times it can make me feel a little odd when they get super excited and run up and hug him. It's almost awkward. Also if my boyfriend will seem super excited/happy when he talks to another girl, or if his eyes light up with a huge smile while they're talking I can feel a little funny about it too sometimes. But then I remember he's with me and if he's known these girls for a while or couple years then he would've made a move before or not choose to be with me.

He's always sweet to me even when there's other girls around so it makes me feel secure.
Except I'll never forget the one time my guy (when we first started dating) snuck around and lied to me to hang out with another girl and didn't tell me. He said it was "innocent" and he was just trying to make friends. Well that put my trust a little off. He said he'd never do that again and if he wanted to hang out with another girl he'd ask me first or something like that. Something just always seemed odd to me about hanging out ALONE with another girl but it's also about trust, you have to trust your partner and as I get further into this relationship I am able to trust more.

Your girlfriend can't control who you see or who your friends are. If you reassure her that you're not interested in those girls in that way and you've known them for a while and are just friends then it should make her feel at least a little at ease. Although it's possible that no matter how secure she may be it still could bother her at times.
Some women may be more secure than others though but if you were to constantly hang out with these girls or a lot of girls then I could see how she'd feel odd. But you don't seem like an attention whore like IndilReloaded mentioned. Also I doubt you're hanging out with them super often or texting them all and stuff like that?

Your girlfriend could just be a little insecure. It depends for women. Personally, I've had times where I feel more secure than others when it comes to my relationship. As more time goes on I feel more secure though. Maybe your girlfriend will be able to feel more secure as time goes on. Or maybe she's the type of girl who can't handle her man having a lot of female friends. But it's not uncommon for women to feel insecure, jealous, or odd if their boyfriend has a TON of girl friends. I read something once in a psychology course that women tend to be more possessive and jealous by nature in order to "protect".

When you guys are older, you'll understand completely that not wanting a guy who has a lot of girl-friends has nothing, absolutely nothing to do with being insecure. Really, Bullrush ~ it does not.

We're human. Humans love posessively. Just because were in a realtionship and have promised to be monogamous with our partner does not mean that we stop finding others attractive and if you have no personal and relationship boundaries in place then you will have higher odds of finding yourself emotionally or physically crossing many lines with your opposite sex friend, which is disrespectful to your primary partner and yourself for that matter if you look at hooka's statement of "they demanded I hug them."

"Demanding" hugs. Why would you hug anyone who demanded one? Why would anyone want a hug from someone they had to demand one from even?

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Originally Posted by pisces25 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I think age has a lot to do with it. Do women in their 30's or 40's 'straight up demand hugs' from a guy when he walks in the room? Not where I am from...

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The man I am seeing (casually) says that women in their 40s straight up kiss him on the mouth when he walks into a room. He's very handsome, and the women around here are pretty aggressive (desperate), so I believe it, but I did tell him that if he ever wants a smart woman to be serious about him, he is going to have to figure out how to put an end to it. He damn-sure wouldn't want the woman he cares about getting kisses and hugs from hoards of male "friends".

The thing is, when you are very young (20s), excessive amounts of casual affection is common because young people are still learning about boundaries. It's different when you get a bit older. At my age, we KNOW that innocent kisses can progress into something less innocent, because we have seen lots of broken families due to lack of boundaries.

Anyway, this man I am seeing asked me if I would fight with another woman who was kissing on him and hugging him inappropriately at a party, and of course I said no. If a man loves me, he won't put me in a position to make me that uncomfortable.

I don't think the problem is having many female friends - it is being too physically close to them. I personally would hate it if my bf hugged other girls on a regular basis. I used to hate it about my ex (he did it a lot, never meant anything wrong by it but it always bothered me), and I wasn't even in love with him. It's just disrespectful, imo. I don't go about hugging my male friends, if not for some special occasion like I dunno, congratulating them about something, or saying hello or goodbye when we haven't seen / won't be seeing each other for a long time. That is, only if they are REALLY CLOSE friends. My current bf agrees with me, and the only other girls I've seen him hug are: 1) a close childhood friend of his (which he generally sees less than 10 times a year because they don't live close, whom he has introduced me to, and for whom he has never felt anything other than sister-like friendship), 2) relatives, or 3) distant acquaintances (people he is meeting for the first time or friends of friends/relatives he hasn't seen in a long time, it's a cultural thing in my country). He doesn't hug his regular female friends, as much as I don't hug my male friends (or "demand hugs" from them, really!! Especially if they are in a relationship, I wouldn't dream of "demanding hugs" from them).

BTW, I'm in my early 20s and I know lots of people my age are a lot more physically close to their friends of the opposite sex than my bf and I are. But of all the couples I know, every partner would feel uncomfortable (at least) if the other partner regularly hugged his/her friends of the opposite sex.

OP, would you be comfortable with your gf hugging a lot of attractive male friends of hers?

Well I havent been there I a while and im not exactly brodcasting im in a telationship just yet