Cheating ex-gf keeps calling...

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31-12-11, 11:56 AM
TomerT

Cheating ex-gf keeps calling...

Hi all,
Will very appreciate your thoughts on this one:

About 1.5 years ago, I was cheated on, treated like a piece of sh*t and dumped by a girl that swore to me that I was the best thing that happened in her life...
She got pregnant and had the baby half year ago. I didn't see her since then, but she was constantly occasionally (every 4-6 weeks or so) calling me.
I never answered, but eventually I answered once - we "small talked" about nothing for 10 minutes and then she disappeared for several weeks.
Recently her sister started to call me. I answered the first time ( I din't know by the number who was it ) - she told me that just wanted to check how I was doing.
I could hear my ex in the background - but she didn't talk with me...When I realized who was it - I also politely said that I can not talk right now. So we kept it very short.
Today (31-Dec) her sister called again - this time she was "filtered"....I am not sure if there is even a question here, but I try to understand why they keep calling me.

Back then I loved her with all my heart, but now after what she did to me and how she acted after that - I don't want to do anything with her...
I don't hate her, I just feel pity for her. Her life is f*cked. I completely over her, already dated with others and want to forget her like a bad dream...
Yes, to be honest, I would like to hear a genuine apology from her, to have some closure, but I know I will never hear it anyway, so had to do the closure by myself.

I am 100% sure that her sister calling me under my ex guidance. What for ? She knows there is nothing we can do now, there is zero chance for us to be together, so why she is calling ?
What does she want to hear from me ? I suppose if it was something very important to say from her side she could write me a msg. or an email - it would be much easier from her side.

Although I am completely over her, every such call - takes me out of a balance for some period of time (no more than few hours)...

Thanks for reading this.
any thoughts / advises more than welcome
31-12-11, 12:22 PM
Wakeup

Is there any reason why you don't just tell the both to eff off a leave you alone?
31-12-11, 05:45 PM
HeartIsAching

Wakeup's got the solution.

But you didn't ask for a solution, you asked why, so here you go:

It's a control issue. She's hoping to keep your interest piqued so you won't get over her. It gives her an ego boost to think you're still on the hook and she can reel you in any time. I'd wager money that if you tell her to piss off, she'll start trying even harder. Probably even tell you that she still loves you, you're her "one that got away", and that she wants you back. Don't fall for it - she doesn't, you're not, and she doesn't. She just wants the power.
31-12-11, 11:19 PM
Wakeup

^^^ I'd rep you for that but it says I have to spread it around before giving you another kudo.
01-01-12, 04:22 AM
TomerT

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeartIsAching [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Wakeup's got the solution.

But you didn't ask for a solution, you asked why, so here you go:

It's a control issue. She's hoping to keep your interest piqued so you won't get over her. It gives her an ego boost to think you're still on the hook and she can reel you in any time. I'd wager money that if you tell her to piss off, she'll start trying even harder. Probably even tell you that she still loves you, you're her "one that got away", and that she wants you back. Don't fall for it - she doesn't, you're not, and she doesn't. She just wants the power.

Make a lot of sense. Thanks a lot everyone.
03-01-12, 01:43 AM
bcgirl

karma can be a real biatch. And that is the prime example of one. You were the nice guy....she cheated and broke your heart. She got preggers and has a baby with a man who probably had cheated on her or doesn't want anything to do with her. She is now a single mother and realized how much of a good guy you were to her. But by now it's too late. Why on earth would you want to go back to a slut who cheated on you and now has baggage...a baby from another daddy. Too much drama. Why seek an apology from her? Move on and you can look at her now and not feel angry, but feel sorry....but that's karma. Hopefully she had learned her lesson and will treat her next boyfriend better.