Wanting to get her back...

Hi everybody,

I was dumped by my gf two weeks ago because she said she was stressed out, needed time alone, and no longer has feelings for me. She also said that she was jealous of me, and because of me being stressed out lately.

I miss her very much and have been going through hell to try to not call her back the last 2 weeks. I miss her so much. The first day after the break up I wrote her a love poem on her blog and she deleted it. That hurted me so bad.

But I also felt I was responsible for making her jealous (she's the extremely illogical jealous type) by dancing with another girl at a fundraising party when she was away on a trip (which she found out because I SMS her right away on that day telling me how much I missed her at the party but I had to keep the girl company for a friend because that friend was interested in somebody else and he asked me as a favor) ..

I know that is such a minor thing as a reason for the break up but she said it was an accumulation of things. I know most of you will say forget her and move on because she's not right for you but I love her and I wanted to at least give it a try. I think both she and I deserve that.

Thanks for any advice

nothing stops u from doing wat u do man... wat we do as a community is just tell u wat we should do so everything is opionated... on a side note i know how that feels to give love yet get nothing back in turn and yet get dumped in from of your face. yeah it really hurts and really sucks... i did the same with the whole love poem but i did it in a more romantic way by singing <--- vocalist here... LOL but newayz... u do wat u feel paxes its your life u choose your destination. if u love her go tell her wats not to lose right?

actually the title should be "wanting to get back with her " ... Mann this love thing is killing me and my language ability ... if I had any

Hey Thank Kev.... mannn I sing tooo ... keep trying to write her a song but just thougt she would reject it .... I don't know ... I want to give her some time and space ... of course my irrational side would say somehow she would actually fall out of love with me if I give her time and she would fall for somebody else .. I'm trying to strategize and see how much time I should give her and what I need to do to try to get her have feelings for me again .... I know I can't force that but I know I have to give it at least a try...

Thanks for any ideas ...

Hi everybody,

what do you do when you have all these feelings and you just want to tell that person and have that person hear you love them??? How do you get it outtttt ?? AAAAAAAAAA

ah yes, the good ol' wanting her back "begging" stage. Telling her how you love her and care for her won't change her thoughts. It doesn't matter what you do or say at this moment. Don't worry about saying ANYTHING to her. You were right in your first post, however, you don't have to forget her. Just let her go and move on. You love this girl so much that you want her to be happy right? Well, it seems like she is happiest without you. Don't take this the wrong way, because even I had to learn it for myself. Guess what? Now I'm happy and my ex broke up with me a little over a month ago. These are normal feelings, but the more you tell her, the more you will just push her away and the more it will hurt. Trust me on that. Start it off now. NO CONTACT. Read all the other posts in this forum. Believe me, it works and you will notice differences. I just give advice, it's up to you to take it.

Cdoc

I understand CDoC ... Maybe she'll be happier without me but then oh how you keep thinking of how she was even happier before when she was with me right and you just don't understand .. and also this fear ..

being torn that you want her to be happy yet at the same time you want her to be happy with you too ... Sighh what can one take ?? she also said she's confused and she's probably pretty determine to break up ... which is the sad thing ... but somehow my instincts keep telling me I want her back .. why why ???

the thing is she's a very nice person and I know she doesn't look down on me but when everybody keeps saying you don't have a chance of getting back together . It feels so much more hopeless and and rejected and low .

I mean I was doing wayyy better before when I think we have a chance of getting back together only if I give her a break . I reallyy feel like after some time I can try wooing her again... I'm confused about the uncertainty. AAAAa

Paxes I was in the same position as you and I wanted her back. I thought to myself 'why is she breakin' up with me?' I never thought it was a good enough reason. I don't think I ever will. I knew what I had to do, but it was up to me to do it. Where has it gotten me to this point? I have a great group of friends whom I hang out with all the time, I'm going out way more than I used to, I'm about to pick up a new hobbie of dancing and I'm still continuing what I used to do. My point is, it's not going to be easy avoiding her and it's not going to be easy to start these things. You have to FORCE yourself to do it. You also have to understand and accept what is going on.

You feel like your instincts want her back. Man, if I had a nickle every time I thought that. To this day, I feel that there is still a chance with my ex in the future. But I'm not living my life based on that hope. My ex and I were together for 3 years and yet, it's only been a month and I'm doing just fine. Anyone can do it, you just have to want to do it. The sooner you start to realize that it is over, the better off you will be and I'll shed some light on this (yes there is a positive). When I first attempted NO CONTACT I thought it would give her a chance to miss me and come back after me (which is what you're hoping). I no longer have NO CONTACT for that reason. I am continuing with it, but only because it has helped me move on a lot quicker and get over the fact that it's not the end of the world (which is what most people think). Take this as an opportunity to become a new better you. If she sees you in this state (you're in) she won't even consider the thought of coming back. However, if she sees you in a state that you are doing fine without her, she might get curious and wonder what's going on. Don't expect this to happen in a week or two. This could take months. I can't guarantee what I'm saying will be true, but I do know that if you take this advice, you will understand that it's best to just leave her alone and go get yourself a brand new life. Ultimately it will help you which is what you need to be concerned about right now.

Cdoc