To everyone who thinks about ending a relationship
This is a story of an ended relationship with a sincere message I want everyone to hear:
2,5 months ago I ended a relationship that had lasted for 3,5 years. After that we still lived together for over a month before completely separating. For a long time I tought about leaving her, I found so many reasons to justify my actions, I tought every day I kept spending with her was a mistake because nothing worked out and I wasn`t happy.
Then in the end I did it, and she still wanted to try, continue together, for the time we still lived under the same roof.. I found a new girl within a week, a few more of them within a month. I still remember her telling me how good we were together and how I kept my mind about what I had decided. She also found new company quite fast.
After I moved on my own I was all "yeah now my life`s going to restart after so many boring years", I went to a load of parties, did some stupid stuff and one morning woke up realizing that everything I was currently doing means nothing, totally pointless. All those new girls I`ve met, they barely scratched my surface nor I did theirs.
The day we both moved out from our shared apartment, I had promised her that I`d come overnight for her to feel safe in the new place. Guess what I did back then? I went to a party to do some cocaine and crash with persons who ment nothing to me.
Now a short while ago I started realizing that I`ve made a huge mistake, I was confused with my own toughts and kept thinking over and over and over.. then after going through what I felt I had to admit it, nothing felt good without her.
I asked her to meet me a couple of days ago, told her how I feel 100% honestly. Only to find out that she just began a relationship with someone else, and she can only offer me her friendship anymore. I tried to apologize, I tried to say I`ll do anything in the world to get her back, it didn`t help.
Now I feel like I have been someone else for this whole time besides the last few days, I don`t recognize the person who left the woman I still love more than anything and even refused to still give it a shot. She ment the world to me, was there everytime I felt bad, everytime I felt good. And I left her. I ruined everything we had, everything I had.
I haven`t slept in 2 days now, I`ve just been literally sitting on my bed crying my eyes out, hoping to just wake up next to her after I manage to sleep.
The level of my regret is so deep, so deep that you can`t even imagine it. I just keep hating myself so much, I keep asking myself how could you do it, why did you do it? And I don`t have other real answers besides that I wasn`t strong enough to handle the bad times we had.. bad times that every relationship has.
To all of you who are considering leaving someone you deep in your heart love as much as I love her, don`t do it. You will end up doing the worst mistake of your life. Be strong and endure the bad times together, and you won`t end up like me. Realizing what means the most when it`s already too late.
