Am i becoming too worried/obsessive?

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08-03-12, 01:46 AM
Cher

Am i becoming too worried/obsessive?

I am currently dating my flatmate! I moved in the flat a few months ago and ever since one of my flatmate started to have feelings for me. I was then dating someone else. My flatmate was texting me over Christmas all the time and inviting me to his hometown for parties etc. When i was having a bad time with my ex i decided to go and cheer myself up, of course my flatmate got drunk and admitted his feelings. He added he has a no dating flatmate rule but his feelings were too strong and that he would have broken the rule for me. As weird as it sounds i ended up breaking up with my ex a few days later and my flatmate ran home to me to cheer me up. In the next few weeks he was there for me, constantly and eventually i decided to give it a go. He was so happy he said he will not going to mess it up and i am too amazing etc etc. He gave me attention 24/7, he couldn't keep his hands off me basically, he said i'm the most amazing thing ever happened to him and he is luckiest man alive. I kept receiving that attention for weeks, i was happy and of course very flattered. Now, since we have seen each other every day for the past few months, as much as he still gives me attention it has calmed down a little. I mean i was never as clingy as he but now i miss that attention..i've also become paranoid that he likes me less or he is bored of me, and what's worse i keep thinking what if everything goes wrong. I am getting these obsessive thoughts about how he is going to leave me and why hasn't he text me today and this and that. Am i just being paranoid? has anyone else had similar thoughts/feelings? Never mind he says he loves me every day, he misses me when he goes home for a weekend and he always becomes very protective over me....yet i can't stop being paranoid about these certain things... :(
08-03-12, 02:30 AM
smackie9

It's normal for things to wind down. You two need to have a life outside the relationship in order to keep things fresh...you know to go out and do your own thing (separately). Being together constantly can literaly kill a relationship in a very short time. Get a hobby or something.
11-03-12, 09:10 PM
AnnonymousMan

It is typical of a male that once things are good and he feels everything is fine in the relationship, for him to then ignore the relationship somewhat. As long as he feels everything is good he see's no reason to do anything. Not all guys are like this though. I would say you two are perfectly fine.
13-03-12, 12:09 AM
bulrush

Quote:

Now, since we have seen each other every day for the past few months, as much as he still gives me attention it has calmed down a little.

Those first few months are called the "honeymoon period" and that's where emotions are high, people are happy, infatuated even. Now that has calmed down you will start to see he is not perfect, and the relationship is not perfect. It doesn't mean it's over, it just has entered a new phase. The phase where you actually have to work to make it go.