All then Nothing? Seriously? (Unscientific Survey Included)

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16-03-12, 03:05 PM
racerx22

All then Nothing? Seriously? (Unscientific Survey Included)

Ladies and Gentlemen...feel free to respond to my very unscientific survey that follows my tale.

I (34) had been dating a girl (32) for about 4 months and on a scale of 1-10...it was an 11. She told me that she felt very strongley about our relationship and couldnt wait to continue it. It had been about 4 years since I really let anybody into my life like that. In between I was dating for fun and having a great time. We never took it too fast but just a great pace for two people that were into each other.

I had spent a random Wednesday night at her house and again...it was at 11. The next day she said she wanted to breakup!

I asked her "Are you still attracted to me?" her answer "Yes, very much!" next "Do you have a good time with me?" again her response "Yes a great time!" So what is the deal here? She simply responded "Something is just missing." I was faithful, treated her like gold, and the sex was great. It was still fresh and a little mysterious.

After a few more questions I just ended up devistated and confused. And im pretty sure she wasnt cheating...just wasnt her nature, but who knows.

To soothe my soul my friends took me out drinking. After a few frosty beverages I decided I was going to do a Breakup Survey (totally gonna copyright it) from the table of 10 girls beside us...and since they were drinking they were VERY honest with me.

The results of the survey by 9 out of 10 girls was that women are attracted to bad boys...but but but (imagine a drunken female voice saying this)...they want to settle down with a good man. So they are dating bad boys and trying to change them...they need a challenge! Sure...that plan cant fail. What could go wrong!

So Women: What do you want? A) Bad boys that you think you can change B) Someone that can both treat you good but challenge you in other ways besides giving you the challenge of trying to figure out who else he is sleeping with?

So Men: A) Should we just be douche bags all the time because women want the bad edge? B) Should we risk being ourselves from the git-go inj which women also ask for?
16-03-12, 11:23 PM
gardenofjade

As a woman I want intellectual stimulation, a sense of adventure, not necessarily the bad boy but someone who can keep a conversation going using real words. I also want a man who will protect me from other guys hitting on me, that includes keeping my attention. This doesn't mean that you should treat women poorly to get what you want. If you want a relationship you should be able to be yourself.
Maybe she's not the one for you. Sometimes it's how you smell, what you like to eat, your driving, and not always about cheating. jez.

If you use whole messages to communicate then you can find the answers to your questions.
17-03-12, 03:14 AM
oneandonly

I don't know where this notion of girls like bad boys comes from?

What's the definition of bad boys? I am sure 10 women you met in a bar is not remotely close to how the majority of women approach their relationship.

People, women and men, have good and bad. Nobody is perfect. She simply didn't feel strongly for you as you did for her. Nothing wrong with that. It doesn't mean she likes bad boys over you. And don't assume you are perfect either. You just need to find one who is on the same page as you.
17-03-12, 04:58 AM
racerx22

Quote:

Originally Posted by gardenofjade [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

As a woman I want intellectual stimulation, a sense of adventure, not necessarily the bad boy but someone who can keep a conversation going using real words. I also want a man who will protect me from other guys hitting on me, that includes keeping my attention. This doesn't mean that you should treat women poorly to get what you want. If you want a relationship you should be able to be yourself.
Maybe she's not the one for you. Sometimes it's how you smell, what you like to eat, your driving, and not always about cheating. jez.

If you use whole messages to communicate then you can find the answers to your questions.

I was all about communication...and thats all I asked of her. It was like a switch flipped though...and my gut and experience tell me some new or old came back into her life and she was instantly done with me. Just kind of shocked...never really had something end like this. And I wasnt raised to treat women poorly so I probably shouldnt start now. Thanks Jez! M
17-03-12, 07:57 AM
videoangel

So you think that what she meant by 'something is missing' is that she meant that you lack bad boy substance?
I don't think you should have been asking her those questions in the first place. Women hate to have to confirm their feelings for the man. It's that simple. And you seem desperate. Really when you say bad boy... it's not quite THAT. What a woman wants it's someone very confident! Someone who doesn't need reassurance and needs to ask questions of that nature to know whether the woman is into them or not! He just KNOWS without asking, he does what he feels is right without asking, and he plays the manly role in the relationship, and if she doesn't like something about him, he can handle the critisism gracefully and maturely! Infact he takes it's like water off a ducks back! It's more being COOL, rather than bad boy. Thats what a woman expects and wants from a man. ok? :-)