Do i have to play hard to get and back off? And how do i do it?

So, i hate to say i need to do this and i feel like a 16 year old writing this instead of a 31 year old but here goes.

My GF and i have been dating for a little over 3 months. This has been the slowest moving relationship i have ever been in but i'm fine with that. She wants to take things slow because her ex hurt her really bad and she has her guard up bigtime.

Heres our background info:
We got really close with each other talking and all that and kissed within the first week. We discussed many serious life topics (children, family) to make sure we both wanted the same end goals, which we do to the T. It got to a point where she was at my house at least 5 days a week and we were inseparable. Then i slowly saw her start pulling away and the cute little surprise notes she would leave around the house tapered down and stopped. I talked to her about it and she got very defensive and said she backed off because she really started having some serious feelings for me and it scared her because she never wants to get hurt again like her ex did to her. I assured her i was not her ex and things went on. Slowly a little progress, then lose a little. Then it seemed to flatten out and be ok for a while. Then one day she came over and out of the blue broke down and started crying saying how she is such a bad girlfriend because she's never around and never there for me and on and on. I told her that did not make her a bad girlfriend, she just needs to take things at her pace and when everything is good she needs to acknowledge it to herself and gradually let her guard down. Well things went ok, then boom!!!! She took on a ton more work. Now i don't see her at all during the week, and usually she stays the weekend from Friday night through Sunday and i have not seen her this weekend at all. The texting and phonecalls went from at least 100 texts a day to like 10 and 2 calls a day if i didn't see her to maybe every other day if i'm lucky. She seems like she's really pulling away. I have asked her a bunch of times if she is unhappy or she wants to break up, just to let me know and she says no she doesn't but shes really busy right now and she gets kinda testy about it because she says that she sees i'm mad because she is never around any more and she stops the conversation about that there. So heres my question: Everyone says i need to step back and not smother her and let her miss me and need me. This is very tough for me because of my past and insecurities and overthinking. I worry that if i don't initiate texting her through the day, she will think i'm not interested and she will just move on with her life. What do i do, or not do? I know her past is really hard and hurtful for her and try to be there for her, but like i told her it can't be directly taken out on me because of what someone else did to her.

So, do i put the ball in her court and see if she calls,texts, follows up. Or do i initiate it so that i know it keeps going. I feel like a little kid asking these questions, but i don't know what to do. This relationship is different and i feel that i am willing to bend and work with these problems to get through them, when in other relationships i would not. This just feels to good to give up on as far as our compatibility goes and our dreams and all.

Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease help