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What are the potential consequences that might occur if you meet a girl and tell her your feelings within a week or so of knowing her? Would that simply scare them away? Is it simply unacceptable? Is it better to refrain from telling them your feelings and just waiting till you know them longer? Thank you guys for your honest input. I know this is a pretty common question..
You scare her off, you look like a desperate douche bag, ect. Besides, its impossible to know someone well enough to have "true" feelings anyway.
Yes...Yes and Yes
Damn, we used to have this thread in the archives by Nomas. He explained this perfectly. The gist is that, when expressing interest to someone, you want to do it in a way that doesn't get too far ahead of their interest level. You show interest, they respond. You show a bit more... they respond. If not, then you wait, then check their interest and try again. And so on.
Its like heating up a glass... do it slowly a little bit at at time and you'll eventually get a nice, hot glass . Do it too fast and the glass will crack. Sorry, thats the best analogy I can come up with. Nomas' was much better.
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Originally Posted by surfhb [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Hmm I guess.. In the past, the reason why I told some of the girls I liked them right away is because I didn't want them to think I wasn't interested. I didn't want to lose that possible chance of being with them. I wanted them to know I was entirely interested and willing to have a relationship with them, etc. I figured if I waited too long they may just figure I don't really want to be with them and friend-zone me right away.. At least that's how I look at it..
Thats fine but not in the first week. Just relax and have a good time. Guaranteed this is one of the top 3 issues girls have with guysQuote:
Originally Posted by xhayatox [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
If it happens to me, I'd feel awkward and scare too.
Depends on what you're saying and how she feels too. If she is not on the same page she's going to think you're nuts, or laugh at you. If guys are too nice at the start it's suspicious because in reality you don't really know her.Quote:
Originally Posted by xhayatox [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
If certain things are said really early on we begin to wonder how many other people have you done this to? Being too smooth can be bad, IMO it looks greasy :).
Your words might not be as powerful saying it right away, and if you havent had sex up to this point she might take it as a red flag that you're saying what you think she wants to hear so you can get laid.
I would run if the guy said any of the following if I only met him a week ago:
1. I love you
2. You're my soul mate
3. Our children are going to be hot
4. I see myself marrying you
5. I want to spend every waking moment with you... (my thought: oh F save me now this guy is controlling and has no life.. I need my space please!)
6. Any really serious commitment plans (example: booking plane tickets as a surprise, taking me to meet your parents...etc)
7. TOO over the top mushy, (my thought: you're clingy or will be because you're too invested)
I think when a relationship really clicks, there's no need for either one to "tell" the other person their feelings is there? If you feel you have to tell them, then maybe the connection isn't really there. It's usually just great, and then when the time is right in an intimate setting, those words kind of just come out on their own, without a thought process behind it.
Haxan, some people really enjoy hearing the words. I think it must be similar to learning styles: some see, some hear, some 'feel'. You sound the latter type, but I think a lot of women are auditory creatures. LOL, in my dreams I'd have a lover singing my praises, then I'd sing his and we'd finish in a Puccini-esque duet. LOL. Of course, he also needs to be handsome, responsible, amusing and with an IQ of +140. Unfortunately, its going to take about 20 years for my perfect clone-man to grow up. I suppose some lucky girl gets to benefit instead. ;-)
I agree with you that mutual attraction is easy to detect. Provided its strong. But sometimes tho people get out of synch in their interest level. The question is, how much to show in order to move things forward w/o freaking out the recipient of ones admiration.
Hey, I'm very auditory ! :) That being said, within a week, I'm probably not going to offer up more than I think you're a great girl, a hot babe and I love spending time with you...the OP seems to me like he wants to say I love you already, just the feeling I get from his post.Quote:
Originally Posted by IndiReloaded [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
You greedy lil' thing you ;-)Quote:
Originally Posted by IndiReloaded [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
PlQuote:
Originally Posted by haxan [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Best reply
xhaya - Pay attention to this^. If you profess your love to this gal so early, she's going to run. Part of the 'dance' is that a guy can show some restraint. Also, you might want to consider dating around some more. The training that experience will give you will help you to control yourself when a gal you really like does happen along.Quote:
Originally Posted by haxan [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Good luck.