Falling into sex, or love?
I am in a complicated long distance situation. We were seei g eachother before he had to move a few hours away, only a week before moving was when we started sleeping together. He invited me to visit him at his new place for a weekend, but mentioned he didnt want to call it a relationship. His job moves around every couple years or less, so long distance relationships have a bad rap for him. I understood mainly because it was too soon for us to declare it as a major comitment weather he moved or not.
Once we started sleeping together, we didnt want to stop. Both beyond physically satisfied. Its like nothing Ive ever had before. Good sex is one thing, but he ultimate physical and intimate experience is another.
So I drove and spent a full weekend with him. We had a great time hanging out, and of course everytime we made love it was still amazing. Its amazing if he even just kisses me. So at this point its clear that our physical connection is eberyhing we could ask for.
After the trip, I suggested we still do this sometimes even thouh not often, but that we dont have to label it as anything. He felt too much pressure just from this. Sadly it lead to a huge argument, as I felt highly misunderstood. Then we stopped talking for a couple months. I hated him at that point. He was cocky and childish.
But of course, I regretted this alot over time. I was sad that it got ugly for us. In an email I expressed this eventually. He responded that he wanted to forget the past aslo, and see me again. This made me happy.
So a few weeks ago, made the trip again. Not only was he nicer to me than ever, but the huge physical intensity remains. We spend time togeher, talk, cook together and all of that..he does thouhtful things and pays for everything. But he's not a vey emotional, sensitive type and he is all about actions more han words. He is meedy and cuddly...but when its almost time for me to go back home, he creates some distance between us. However, I do not want to bribup any emotions, eve my happy ones, because Im scared to.
I am going again this weekend and nervous about it. Now he appears to be a bit more comfortable and happy with the situation. It seems to pay off when I dont pressure him for anything. After this weekend it will be quite awhile before we get to see eachother again (we both have weekend jobs now). So I know iy will be amazing as usual. But sure I will feel a need to question what we really want out of this. I think about him constantly and it seems we are both happy. Yet probably both too scared of getting much closer. I thought about telling im his will be he last weekend together, just to prevent any future heartache. His job could land him anywhere anyday. And Im not sure if we even have a mental connection that is as good as the physical. In many ways, we are opposites, yet cant sem to stay away from eachother. I dont know what to do now, obviously.
And to be clear, he is unable to make trips home on weekends. He works every Sat and Sun morning for a few hours so its more convenient for me to go there instead. And I dont mind doing so.
