I'm having doubts and find it hard to trust my boyfriend.
My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and four months now. I am two years older than he is. We do have sex, and he makes me feel like my body is beautiful and sexy, even though I think I'm just a plain lady. He used to smoke, but not anymore. He also used to be a major flirt, texting girls or chatting with them online. We had several fights before about him being flirty with girls, but each time he reassured me that it won't happen again. I was convinced too. We broke up for about a month, but patched things up when we both realised that we needed each other. I thought I could do without him, but I was actually just trying to convince myself to believe that.
Anyway, recently I accompanied him to the hospital to visit a friend of his who is badly injured after falling off a bicycle. The friend, a male, had his sister over there looking after him, feeding him lunch. The sister was wearing a low cut spaghetti top with a mini skirt. And despite wearing that outfit to the hospital, when she was feeding the patient, she bent down, showing her boobs. She didn't even try to cover up. She still stayed in that position for a really long time, and kept bending down to wipe her brother's mouth, feed him etc. I noticed my boyfriend's eyes were darting between his friend and his friend's sister. By the way, it's his older sister. She is about my age or slightly older.
I felt angry and pissed when I noticed that my boyfriend kept looking at the sister. Well, since she was showing her boobs as she was bent down, he obviously was looking at that. I have big boobs, D cup, and that sister's boobs were obviously padded and seem to be about size B or C. Nevertheless, I'm annoyed that my boyfriend was staring at her, while I stood a distance away beside him. I was so frustrated I told him I'm gonna go off first. And he was surprised and stopped me. In the end we went off together. There was definitely tension going on after we left because I didn't speak to him initially.
Afterwards, I asked "Don't you think it is kind of ridiculous for the sister to be wearing like that, showing off her boobs for everyone to see? I bet all the males there are very happy."
He replied coldly "I think she's irritated, since there was quite many people there and she had to take care of her brother."
I was even more pissed at his reply. He was obviously not answering me. On the bus while he was sending me back home, he wanted to touch my boobs playfully but I covered them with my arms and playfully, but purposely and firmly said "No." He didn't push further and stopped. Its been two days since the visit to the hospital. I haven't told him that I'm angry over the fact that he kept staring at the sister because I don't wanna sound jealous. And maybe I just don't know how to say it to him, or I'm afraid of what the result of telling him would be. I know he'll be back to visit his friend, and when I think about that, I fear he will stare at the sister again. I know he will. I can't trust him. I find myself doubting him. When he says he's gonna go for dinner with his friends, I imagine him smoking, flirting and playing with girls. I hate knowing that I am doubtful of him.
All I want is his full attention. I don't want to have to worry that he's gonna stare at girls, chat with them. All I want is just to feel special and treasured. I don't know what to do. I need advice.
