Its been a year and i still havent gotten over him

My ex and i were going out for 5 yrs and we broke up a year ago... we were good together... he had even proposed to me but then things just started falling apart. i saw that he wasnt the same.. he just didnt care abt me the way he used to so i thought he needed some space so i told him we shud take a break. When i said that i told him that i still loved him and i was doing this for him... anyhow he eventually broke up with me a couple of weeks later... and then two months later he had full out moved on with one of our friend. its fine but its not
I really love him and i thought him leaving me might be good for me... give me time to figure my life out and my chance to live life for myself. And i've been trying to do just that, its working, but i still really miss him. I go to bed thinking abt him, i wake up thinking abt him. Whenever im not busy...alll i can think abt is him. And i dnt know how to stop, how can i forget abt him and move on?
I've tried dating another guy but it just didnt feel right so i let that be also...
Ive had so many guys come to me and ask if they could take me out but i said no to all of them...
Why cant i move on at all? like im trying rlly hard but its not working... Can anyone give any solutions or ways to overcome this feeling?

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Originally Posted by Zoya [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

My ex and i were going out for 5 yrs and we broke up a year ago... we were good together... he had even proposed to me but then things just started falling apart. i saw that he wasnt the same.. he just didnt care abt me the way he used to so i thought he needed some space so i told him we shud take a break. When i said that i told him that i still loved him and i was doing this for him... anyhow he eventually broke up with me a couple of weeks later... and then two months later he had full out moved on with one of our friend. its fine but its not
I really love him and i thought him leaving me might be good for me... give me time to figure my life out and my chance to live life for myself. And i've been trying to do just that, its working, but i still really miss him. I go to bed thinking abt him, i wake up thinking abt him. Whenever im not busy...alll i can think abt is him. And i dnt know how to stop, how can i forget abt him and move on?
I've tried dating another guy but it just didnt feel right so i let that be also...
Ive had so many guys come to me and ask if they could take me out but i said no to all of them...
Why cant i move on at all? like im trying rlly hard but its not working... Can anyone give any solutions or ways to overcome this feeling?

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Seems you can't let go of him because you find comfort in the present victim mode you are in. He broke up with you and hooked up with your friend. Why wouldn't you be able to get over someone who did that you unless you cling to your pain like its your best friend? Clinging to your pain is being obsessive. Ugh to that.

You have to do the work to get over someone and you need to do this work soon because you're stagnating and you're turning down perfectly good opportunities for some asshole who has totally moved on.

You keep the movie loop of him in your thoughts instead of conciously making an effort to change the channel on him. You mope and wish and wonder why. Your last thoughts of him are at night so when you wake up he's still in your brain. It's no wonder you're not over him yet. Time to buck up girl and start making life about you and whats best for you and stop thinking about people who don't appreciate your thoughts. It's up to you to do the work to get over him. Time to stop wallowing.

Yea thanks i rlly needed that... i just have trouble of believing that he has really moved on u know...like we were together for 5 yrs..how do u just forget that. I know i need to forget abt him. Im thinking thats instead of recalling all the good times, everytime i think of him i should also think about how he hurt me. I have a question tho, do u think that if i atleast try dating another guy, even though i might not be that into him will hellp??? I was thinking maybe that will help me realise that there is so much more than this guy...

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Originally Posted by Zoya [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Yea thanks i rlly needed that... i just have trouble of believing that he has really moved on u know...like we were together for 5 yrs..how do u just forget that. I know i need to forget abt him. Im thinking thats instead of recalling all the good times, everytime i think of him i should also think about how he hurt me. I have a question tho, do u think that if i atleast try dating another guy, even though i might not be that into him will hellp??? I was thinking maybe that will help me realise that there is so much more than this guy...

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I never think it's a good idea to use someone as a human band-aid so no, I don't think it's a good idea for you to date until you've worked on yourself and taken this time to work on not longing for your ex and doing productive and fun things for you. Join groups, join a co-ed sports team, take a course, join the gym, start a new hobby or get involved in your communities volunteer programme are a few things that you can do that will keep you busy and give you a sense of personal accomplishment which, in turn will boost your self-esteem.

Once you're happy with yourself as a single person then a great guy will just be a wonderful bonus to an already awesome life you're living in.

Cheers.

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Originally Posted by Zoya [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

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Why cant i move on at all? like im trying rlly hard but its not working... Can anyone give any solutions or ways to overcome this feeling?

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Get one of those thick elastic bands and wear it on your wrist. When you find yourself thinking about him: SNAP!

I meant it to be funny but it will also work. For real. Good luck.

Alright both suggestions seem quite fair! I will definetly try building myself up first. And the elastic band... freakin genious! Thanks soo much.. you guys have really helped me :)

has he tried to contact you in the past year?

Thanks for your post. [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Nope not at all... we used to be on talking terms at the beginning of the break up and he was fine with me then...seemed like he wanted to work things out but i guess once he started going out with the other one he just avoided me...and i saw a month or two ago and he saw me also..but he just looked down, turned around and walked away..i was hoping that he would nod atleast but other than that no he hasnt contact me.... not at all...