Not Over my ex but I've met someone else. Disaster?

Thanks for all your advice in my other thread it was relly usefull. I think I'm still in love with my ex but since we split up I've met this other guy a couple of times at clubs. I really like him and he's been trying to get my number but I wouldn't give it to him cos of my feelings for my ex. But I saw him the other night and decided to give him my number because I really like him and I don't normally feel this way about guys i've just met. The only problem is that i've noticed he is very flirty in general and quite cheeky and rude. I don't trust him and I wonder why he's carried on pursueing me when he knows i'm not over my ex. I'm scared he's gonna break my heart and I couldn't handle that. I've also been very depressed recently and wanted to sort it out on my own rather relying on another boyfriend to give me confidence but at the same time I don't want to pass up the opportunity to date someone I really like and that i'm attracted to cos its not everyday you meet someone like that. Is it a bad idea to date him? Is this just a rebound. I don't know what to do but he is so persistent I don't really think I can get out of going on a date with him since I agreed to it and I want to anyway.

I think you should go out. Just be honest if he asks. Don't sleep with him, just have a good time. And make sure to work on your self esteem in the meantime!!

All the best. You WILL get through this. Trust me.

well first off give us some more info. how old are u and ur ex, how long did u date, and how long have u been broken up. that can really make a difference.

i think there are different levels to getting over someone. and there comes a point at which you may not be totally over someone but you are still healthy enough to start a new relationship. i know for all of us it would work out best if we we're 100% over our ex's b4 we went back out on the dating scene, but that just doesn't happen all the time. sometimes you are presented with an amazing opportunity to start something witth someone even though it may not be the most perfect time for you. in those situations i say it is best to be honest and up front with them, let them know u are interested but want to take it slow, and always let them know what is going on in your head. oh and since you are being so honest with them and letting them know ur still not over the ex, this may leave them a little sensitive about ur ex so it is best to NOT TALK ABOUT THEM. that will just do all harm and no good.

another thing.... i don't think you can truely know that you are over someone until you test the waters with someone else.

anyways, all of those things are just in general with your dating. i don't know what i'd do in ur situation with this guy. to me he sounds like a jerk, that is just in it for the chase. once a guy like that get's what he wants most of the time they bolt. i wouldn't date a guy like that. under your own admission you say he can be rude... who needs that?!? if you do decide to give it a chance with this one, definately hold out sleeping with him and see just how long he puts up with that. and always be prepared to deal with the fact that you could be nothing more than a game to him. i know it's hard to take, but it's reality. Let us know how it turns out.

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Originally Posted by abercromqt20

well first off give us some more info. how old are u and ur ex, how long did u date, and how long have u been broken up. that can really make a difference.

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I'm 22 and he's 21, we were together for a year and a half and we broke up 3 months ago. I think your right I might well be a game to him but its too early to tell. This guy is rude in a cheeky jokey way to be fair and he's aloud to flirt because i've got no rights to him. I guess I better just take your advice and take it slow but too be perfectly honest I'm really horny and don't see myself being able to resist for that long especially considering that I tend to drink too much.

No offense but this is where i say Love is blinding you... if u say u're horny and u drink too much thats blinding u from wats u assume to say "You love the guY" getting horny and wat not isn't love but u already know that its lust... obviously in deep inside u know he's in all around rude kinda guy.... like they say in the couple's world u can't handle something... get out of it... but hey its up 2 u iono. But let us know thx

Hey there, this probably isnt much help but, with my ex, i still have feelings for him. but its "over" and so sometimes you just have to go and get on with life whether you want to or not. I reccomend you go out to the cinema or for a drink with this guy. yep you may not gain anything from it, he may be the biggest idiot or the loveliest guy youve ever met! either way you have to get on with life, and meeting up with this guy should be fun! good luck whatever you decide! x

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Originally Posted by stardust

Hey there, this probably isnt much help but, with my ex, i still have feelings for him. but its "over" and so sometimes you just have to go and get on with life whether you want to or not. I reccomend you go out to the cinema or for a drink with this guy. yep you may not gain anything from it, he may be the biggest idiot or the loveliest guy youve ever met! either way you have to get on with life, and meeting up with this guy should be fun! good luck whatever you decide! x

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She says she doesn't trust him, thinks he is kindy rude, but really likes him and admits she wouldn't be able to not have sex witht he guy.....

If you like to play with fire, dont cry when you get burned!

Sparkey, you couldn't be more right. I should use that as my life motto. But sometimes its fun to play with fire I just have to deal with the consequences. Anyway after all that the bastard hasn't even rung me and its been over a week! He sent me a couple of texts last Sunday and thats it.

nah leave him alone. he sounds like a jerk. he's just trying to get into your panties.

Sparkey i was saying she should go for a drink or something with this new guy. Even if your not ready to move on. spending time with someone new even if it is just a friendship is sponateous and exciting! I wasnt saying she should meet her ex!! by all means stay away from the ex!

This guy might get all interested in you again and start persuing you. Just be very careful and protect your heart. You've just come out of a painful break up, which makes any person vulnerable and receptive to attention. You also talk about depression, which can really eat away at your self-esteem. A combination of these two things means you're at risk of getting very hurt again if you get emotionally involved too soon, before you are ready and feeling stronger.

If you do see him, keep reminding yourself of these things, and do your best to remain emotionally detached. Be honest with him, that you are getting over someone, but don't get your support from him or try to feel 'loved' by him. His attention is flattering, but nothing more. Make sure you see your friends and keep communicating your pain with them.