Need help breaking it off with emotionally unstable girl

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13-05-12, 12:50 AM
paulowen

Need help breaking it off with emotionally unstable girl

I'm cohabitating with a girl who is very emotionally unstable, clingy and has different goals in life than me and I want to end it with her. It's not easy to leave because I moved to a new city to live with her and her parents. I have no friends here because she keeps me from going out by crying and guilting me into staying home. I have no relatives living here and the ones I do have in other cities do not want to hear my problems and think I should stick it out because they have a low opinion of me and think I can do no better. Whenever I try to leave she starts crying and begging me to stay and I have no idea what to do. But I have to leave because she throws things at me, punches and claws me and is trying to get me to marry her and have kids with her. She said she would kill herself if I left her. I feel trapped and feel like the only way I can escape is if I just save up enough money and move to another country but I can't do that. Stuck and don't know what to do...
13-05-12, 01:09 AM
AWishmaster

She lives with her parents, yes? I can tell you're sincerely worried about her...and as much as bringing in parents sounds like a form of betrayal, it's what I had to do in order to get away from a suicidal significant other.
End the relationship, because it isn't fair to you and nobody has the right to force you to stay unless you want to stay. This is also an abusive relationship, physically and emotionally. It's not fair for her to consistently guilt trip you and resort to violent measures to keep you with her.
Her parents will keep an eye on her, unless there's a problem with the parents that you didn't mention. Before you go though, make sure you have a place to go.
It probably isn't that easy, and there might be more holding you back, in which case, please let me know, because I want to help the best I can :)
But the above, is what I would do.
13-05-12, 01:28 AM
vashti

I don't feel sorry for her. She is manipulative, in addition to violent. If she threatens to kill herself, just tell her it's her choice, then leave. Do not engage in conversation with her - there isn't anything you can tell her that will make her feel better about it, anyway.

If you are seriously worried about her harming herself, tell her when her parents are there.
13-05-12, 01:53 AM
Wakeup

Quote:

Originally Posted by vashti [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I don't feel sorry for her. She is manipulative, in addition to violent. If she threatens to kill herself, just tell her it's her choice, then leave. Do not engage in conversation with her - there isn't anything you can tell her that will make her feel better about it, anyway.

If you are seriously worried about her harming herself, tell her when her parents are there.

^^^ This.

Op: Her mental illness is NOT your responsibility. You cannot fix her and she will bring you down with her if you let her.

It is in anyone's best interest to get out of an abusive relationship immediately and as Vashti recommends if you're worried about what she'll do then tell her parents your concern.. (don't let them brow beat you about your decision to leave either)