-note-
I talk about 2 of my exs in this, I will call them x1 and x2
At the and of the school year I told my friend, x1, that I liked her and she said she liked me too. We started dating in the summer (summer school) and we had a great time together. So I "broke up" with my ex last year November 23, I only did it because her best friend, x2 told me she liked me. It wasn't intentional, but I was texting my x2 about who she liked and I guess she never really knew that I was going out with x1. She ended up saying that she liked me, but I didn't know what to do so I just stopped texting her for the day. The next day, November 23, I said that I "sort of" liked her; implying that liked her in a certain way. She got the idea that I meant that I liked her. So x2 and I started going out and I never told x1, I guess x2 told someone or someone found out because one of our friends asked once if I was trying to get back with x1 (this happened when we were reaching for our backpacks that were near each other). I had a look on my face that was trying to say I still like you. As I started to date x2, I really started to notice her charm and I eventually came to like her more than just a friend. We eventually broke up (it was especially sad because it was on February 15 and after she was very isolated and didn't really hang out with the rest of us for around a month ), but I still have feelings for both my exs. I openly told x2 that I still like her, but she said that she doesn't feel the same way. I'm not sure about x1 though, we still talk, but it's very awkward since I never told her I cheated on her with x2. She seems to still like me; she smiles at me and I she sees how shy I am around her. I feel terrible for what I did to x1 and I really want to get her back, but I'm not sure if she really wants me to bring up the topic of me cheating on her. Both girls are amazing in their own way and are alike too. I know that x2 doesn't like me, but I still have feeling for her. I like x1, but I'm not entirely sure on how she feels about me. It's conflicting for me and I want to decide, but I can't bring myself to do it.
You may say that I should just not worry about relationships, but I need to get the topic off my mind or I won't ever be able to focus. I'm also starting to be pushed towards being bisexual so it doesn't help there either. x2 is easier for me to talk to, like a best friend, meanwhile x1 makes me so nervous and she was my first kiss. Please don't say that I should go out with x1 and be best friends with x2, I like both a lot. Please give me advice on which girl I should try to patch things up with and ask out. I need another person's opinion.
